First Cup of Coffee – April 7, 2022




Transcript
00:00.00
jeffekennedy
Good morning everyone this is Jeffe Kennedy author of fantasy romance and romantic fantasy I’m here with my first cup of coffee. Ah, wonderful suck that puppy down That’s what she said is what she said today is Thursday April Seventh Twenty Twenty two and back in my home temporarily anyway, heading out this afternoon. So sorry that I did not do a podcast Tuesday or Wednesday my mother already gave me the heavy sigh of disappointment. But I was kind of impressed I did one from the hotel on Monday I also got my 2000 words from the hotel on Monday so that felt like a real win. Um, that was kind of followed by then successive of not wins. But oh it wasn’t so bad. Um, we had a really nice time I had a wonderful body treatment Monday afternoon my skin is soft again I told the girl who gave me the body scrab and herbal wrap that I needed to be de-lizarded and. Afterwards she said you know you had a lot of dead skin on your arms and I’m like I know ah this is why I’m telling you why can’t we do this at home I don’t understand why I don’t have an effective way to do this at home I do try those body scrubs and stuff and. Doesn’t do the same thing anyway. so ah yeah so that was great. We had a wonderful time. We decided Tuesday morning just to get up and go um which is usually. But we want to do we. We don’t like hanging out in the morning’s delaying. We’d rather just get on the road and go so that’s what I did um, we probably let the hotel by about 7 um the upshot was is I did not get. Podcast done on Tuesday I did not get words done I um, we got home now about a quarter to 2 something like that and then um, the cleaning ladies arrived which is just always chaotic.

02:39.41
jeffekennedy
And and I dealt with business stuff. There was SFWA stuff that it piled up. It’s I knew I talk about this lot a lot but it’s just amazing to me how many people. Um, if you don’t respond to their email within a day or two that they just like. Have have fits and they send you additional emails saying did you get my email and they that I had 1 person saying something well since there’s been radio silence I want to move ahead with this decision and I’m just going to make this decision and it’s like. I’m offline for two days and it’s radio silence I don’t think so I saw an interesting thread yesterday that I shared on Twitter this guy talking about the characteristics of gen x and you know it’s. Funny being part of gen x and I’m on the the older end of gen x and you know for a long time. We thought we weren’t really gen x that we were generation jones but that got lost. Um, you know so okay, fine gen x. Whatever. But I sure do share a lot of characteristics with Nx and they were talking about one of the things this guy was coming at it. He gives them business advice dealing with colleagues and so forth and a lot of it was really decent advice. But 1 thing that he mentioned is he said you know gen x is often forgotten that we are 20% of the population and he talked about how gen x grew up in a time when. Institutions failed us and that we are very cynical about institutions and it’s funny because I always thought that I was just naturally cynical about institutions that this was like something inherently me. But apparently it’s generational. But he was talking about that. A lot of the people in your organization who are probably head down and getting the work done ah are probably generation x and there were it was interesting. In fact, let me share with you hold on. So I know I don’t have to tell you guys to hold on when I pause I know we’ve been over this but here we are okay so this is interesting because he says these 42 to 57 year olds are so strange it presents golden opportunities here are 10 mind hacks to use with gen x and then he.

05:24.20
jeffekennedy
Comments at the end of this. Let me go down. Um, he says hilarious how every gen x reply was I was skeptical at first and I don’t like the words mind hack because that’s what institutions do It’s just funny. Um and he says that not everybody is like this of course. But gen x prefers to do it their way and don’t want to sweat the rules I’m so much you guys I oh isn’t that like what I talk about all the time on here is like just. Don’t sweat the rules just get it done. Um I’m trying to keep looking into the camera. Oh I know I could blow this up big – zoom is your friend Jeffe here we go. Um. Ah, this one I don’t get right? They say he says acknowledge gen x as emails quickly they will love you. Um, they grew up in a time when institutions weren’t to be trusted so well and so here we are allow gen x a balanced life. Gen x grew up with workaholic boomer parents seeing that gen x thinks work is part of life. But not why they live give them data genx says tell me how it is and cuts out the fluff for generations like millennials. This is hard because millennials want the ship. Sandwich for feedback and I’m not good at giving the shit sandwich feedback he he shares this great graphic which you know talking about gen x feeling forgotten which shows like the generation guidelines on they have the silent generation baby boomers millennials post millennials. So they like literally left out generation. Ah, which ah we’re all just in back going? Yeah, we know? of course they did um first generation not to do as well financially as their parents are their kids. Um. And so he has like doing these things with generation x say do it your way use. Well-w writtentten emails. He says that we grew up with grammar and we don’t like the shorthand of texts which I don’t I never like put you instead of y o you say I got it. Focus on the mission with them allow life balance bond as people but I mean isn’t that a thing ah be direct acknowledge that they exist expect pessimism expect work work life celebration. Ah my friend Kelly Robson

08:05.62
jeffekennedy
That’s the one who retweeted that into my timeline and she commented that she wonders how much of this just general enough to ring true like a horoscope which maybe but I don’t know and it was interesting Anyway I do feel some of those memes. Ah, the Generation X means when like the bloom the boomers and the millennials are fighting and the millennials are doing the whole okay boomer thing at its the as 20% Generation X are just sitting back with our glass of wine going. Okay. I’m just gonna enjoy my wine.

08:49.87
jeffekennedy
Okay, actually found the meme I wanted so I will put that on the post. So anyway, back to the ostensible topic of this podcast. Ah but you know here at first cup of copy. We talk about anything. Would say anything you guys want to, but it’s what I want to which is probably a very generation x thing. So yesterday yesterday was just busy. You know 1 thing about being a an author. And I think this is you know, but bla not being articulate, um, especially self-publishing is you wear a lot of different hats and so yesterday I was supposed to post my blog to the SFF 7 blog. Um I was tired. I ah had to kind of stomach upset Tuesday night and didn’t sleep all that well slept too long Wednesday morning and I’d been thinking about doing a podcast and so that was the first thing that went sorry mom. Ah, but then I didn’t end up getting the blog post done. Ever yesterday. Um, and I didn’t get that many words I was just a little creaky I got 1247 words yesterday which kept me on track anyway and then i. Had other things that I had to do because obviously being president of Sawa comes with certain obligations I had to go sit in on the author’s coalition call to discuss an issue with them that has come up with our members and that was at 11 my time which cuts into my writing time I almost never accept meetings during my writing time and all of these people were clearly um, much more used to having long meetings than I am I am very much the could this meeting have been an email kind of gal. And I’m also a let’s move this meeting alone and the people on this call spent a lot of time talking very slowly and thoughtfully about things which was great but at the same time I was thinking I need to get off this call and then because I’d ask to be put on the agenda I was at the end. In fact, i. Really very much considered just popping in at the end and skipping ah the risk. But then I thought well that would be rude since I’m coming in asking these people for help. So but it’s funny because I’m heading out this afternoon to go to the Jack Williamson lectureship and.

11:42.90
jeffekennedy
1 of the the first official events is going to be Walter John Williams in conversation with Connie Willis 2 2 wonderful greats talking about Walter’s career and I’ve heard walter talk about his career before and this is at Eastern New Mexico University so this can be great for the students and everything and. And there’s a dinner afterwards. So his thing starts at five thirty and I like really really wanted to get there at like six fifteen so I didn’t have to so I could leave here later and sort of waltz in and not listen to the rest of Walter talking about his career again. It’s not that I don’t. Like Walter I think he’s a great guy but that this is how I am and and I was talking with Darynda Jones because she lives in portalis where this is going on and we were talked about scheduling and I’m like sorry you going to this thing and she’s like well yeah i. I thought I would to be nice to be supportive and I’m like oh is that a thing I was so awful you guys so reader I am going to these things to be nice because dorda is making me. So anyway I had to be in on this call I finished the call came off got another hour of words and then I had to spend an hour I successfully got another SFWA meeting canceled. So go me. But. then you know so then I was like going through emails and dealing with stuff these emails that people were annoyed that I hadn’t answered. Um you know it’s funny. This is probably like another tangent but I got an email from an unnamed person whose famous author parent died. Some time ago and they wanted to know about having that parent named SFWA Grandmaster and that it had been explained to them that it is sefwas policy longstanding policy not to name dead people grandmasters and there are a number of reasons for this. Partly because it’s the intent behind grandmaster to have them interact with the community and be you know, share their wisdom and so forth. It. Also um, we have lots of living authors to celebrate and if we start. Going back and celebrating the dead ones you can imagine I mean it’s just going to create a backlog. Um, we also don’t take away grand masteror because that’s so fraught so this.

14:25.80
jeffekennedy
This person wrote to me and it was perfectly fine. You know, write me an email and say I understand this is policy I’d like to see it change for my parent my deceased parent and everyone will appreciate it and it’s like well we’re probably not going to change this policy because of the aforementioned reasons. But then there may be some ah something else. We could do so I was going to investigate that and then this person sent another email the next day reiterating same but sent it to the entire board and say well I emailed Jeffe Kennedy yesterday but I’ve not received a reply and so now I’m emailing. Everyone looks like really. Anyway, so I then spent an hour on the phone with a cover artist because I’ve been doing this rebranding for the Sorcerous Moons’s covers which have not been up for sales since like November because I’ve been doing this cover rebranding and. She um, did an amazing amazing first cover and then the second cover is I mean it’s taken a long time shit like she couldn’t do it December because of life and all of these things going on and then. She said can we get this done in January instead you know, thank you for being understanding. You know it was moving and her grandmother was sick and all of these things and anyway now it’s April and we still have only 1 cover you should disappear in the middle of March. And this series is one that I sold to Scribd for audiobook conversion and so they want the rebranded covers so they’re like where are these covers. That’s how they their emails say they come across from that voice where are these covers. No, they don’t. They’re very nice. They’re very patient but they do want these covers and so I this gal had not come back to me for two weeks and I sent her a couple of emails saying we have to get this done. She didn’t reply so I opened a Paypal dispute and so then. 1 of the things I found when I got back Tuesday was she did reply and she’s like she family and had taken her to Mexico because she was so stressed and all of this and anyway so ended up the easiest thing for me is to ever finish it and she does great work. And I I’d like started to line up other people but there are these intricacies of dealing with covers that if you don’t have the layers file which is a Psd file a photoshop type file for that first cover. It’s very difficult for another artist to go in and and.

17:14.92
jeffekennedy
Replicate because they can’t see exactly how they created the effects they kept you know they’re like do you know what font used and like no I don’t know what font she used. It’s it’s remarkably arcane and and I get it. This is not made up stuff because I hear this from different cover artists when they’re. Trying to replicate what someone else did or at least match the style. So. It’s definitely to my advantage to to get this gal to do it and so I’d suggest I said maybe we should just set up a Zoom call so we could. Just talk through because I could tell we were not communicating well and because I would say things and emails that she would you know like apparently not have process so she said actually that would be amazing. So we spent over an hour on the Zoom yesterday afternoon. Thrashing through the design of the next 5 covers. So at least it’s done but it was like you know that’s a whole lot. You know I was sort of musing over all of the things that I spend my day on that aren’t actually putting words down on the page. So. The good news is is that these covers will be done in a week she and she was she was very sweet and she started out and and maybe I’m winding back around to this generation x thing I have no idea how old she is. She is not english is not her first language I think she is um I don’t know sure it it seems like eastern european type name and that might be the accent I’m not great with accents but it was amazing because she just shared her desktop. It was amazing watching her put this together on photoshop I mean she’s incredibly skilled and talented but she started out the calls apologizing. Get again, you know and saying how much she appreciated me being patient with her and how the last three months have been so difficult and all of this and it’s back to me. Having to force myself to be nice because I kind of want to just move past that. It’s like ga yeah yeah, whatever I appreciate that you’re sorry um I actually don’t need any more apologies I just want the work done which to me drives exactly with what he was saying in that thread about generation x right? as opposed to the. Shit sandwich that millennials want for those of you who don’t know what that means it means that you if you have negative feedback you you take the shit and then you sandwich it between nice stuff so you start out with like a compliment and tell them how great they are and then you give them the shit and then finish up with how great there and what’s going right.

19:57.10
jeffekennedy
Which I am not good at doing and but you know I I think I do tend to just cut to the data and it’s like thank you for the apology. Um all I care about is getting the stunt. Let’s just get it done So That’s definitely in line with that thread Right. Maybe not just general like a horoscope. So Anyway today I am didn’t try to get words done I’m not doing writer coffee they asked and I was like I’ve got to focus on work and then get out of here by about one and do the lectureship stuff tomorrow Morning. We are going to have a very special podcast I don’t want to over promise but the plan is for me to be broadcasting from the home of the Lovely Darynda Jones So we will do a joint video session and if you have questions if you have anything you want us to discuss. Yeah, it’s your opportunity. So I will talk to you all tomorrow and yeah otherwise um, hope things are going well in your lives and that you are juggling all of the balls. Ah big balls. That’s what she said you all take care Bye bye.

3 Tricks to Destress (and Non-Coincidental Release Date Changes)

This week at the SFF Seven we’re talking destressing. We’re asking, “What’s one thing you do to keep (or reestablish) your equanimity when life is too much?”

That’s always the question, isn’t it?

It’s especially pertinent for me today because I’ve been stressing about whether I can get GREY MAGIC, book #3 in Bonds of Magic, written in time for release. See, I’ve known for a while that I wouldn’t make my original release date of December 20. Yes, the December 20 that’s nineteen days from this post. I made a deliberate choice there when Agent Sarah asked me to write more on a book she really wanted to take on submission this fall. “I’ll just postpone the release date,” I thought to myself. Then, yesterday, I was deciding what I should push the date to, as Amazon requires that we change the date at least five days ahead. Yes, that still gives me two weeks, but I wanted to get a feel for that – and if it means I also have to push the release of THE STORM PRINCESS AND THE RAVEN KING. (Reader: I do. Apologies! These things have a cascade effect…)

So, I was picking my ideal, least-amount-of-stress date when I realized: Amazon only allows us to push the date by 30 days. For those not wanting to do the math, that made the new release date January 19. At first I tried manipulating my schedule and wordcount goals, considering writing on weekends, which I normally take off to relax and refill the well, and then I realized that I would be incredibly stressed trying to do that. I ended up soliciting advice. My plan is to call Amazon and see if they’ll grant me dispensation to push both release dates out to a comfortable distance. Apparently they sometimes will, and I stand a good chance as I haven’t done this before. Wish me luck! And I’ll report back.

Fair warning: those dates I’ll be requesting are mid-February and mid-April, just to give myself plenty of room since I don’t want to have to try to change them again.

Onward to the actual topic!

Stress isn’t easy to combat, especially since it can be so insidious. Our neurological systems are built to constantly re-establish baselines, so we can be alerted to new dangers. This means we become inured to the presence of chronic stressors, in order to be aware of acute ones. In essence, we forget about the alligators in the watering hole that are always there, so we can be alert to the arrival of the tiger.

But only our conscious awareness “forgets” about the alligators. Our adrenal system is revved about those stinking alligators, punching up our nervous system every time we take a drink. For modern humans, our alligators are those constant concerns of our lives: money, health, family, deadlines, politics, etc. We think we’re not stressed about these things all the time because we’re used to it. Often it’s only when the stress relents that we become aware of its absence – with sheer, blessed relief.

For me this means being proactive. I make an effort to combat stress even when I don’t feel particularly stressed. What do I do?

1) Take deep breaths. I know this may feel like hackneyed advice, but really is the best. Studies have shown we hold our breath when reading emails or when social media notifications arrive. By reminding myself to consciously and conscientiously breathe deeply, I release and fend off stress.

2) Speaking of email and social media notifications, I silence as much as possible. All those pop-ups, pings, and badges? Turn them off! Very little needs our immediate attention. For email, I try to confine my engagement with it to once a day. Much like the paper mail. I treat it like it arrives once and I read and respond then.

3) I try to be kind to myself, doing those things that others have mentioned here. Yoga is great, not only for the energy realignment and breathing (!), but also because it makes me step away from the phone and computer for an hour and be only in my body. Being outside works for this. Long walks. Reading in the sun. Unplugging and focusing on non-monetized creative tasks.

What do you all do to destress?

 

Increasing Peace and Productivity – No Monastery Necessary

I mentioned on my podcast – First Cup of Coffee with Jeffe Kennedy – just about two weeks ago, that I’d read this very interesting article on how starting the day by looking at the internet changes how your brain functions. The author specifies going for three hours before looking at the internet, which I realize not everyone can do. Many people start their jobs within three hours of waking up and those jobs may specifically require checking email or company social media.

But for many of us… do we HAVE to look at those things within three hours of waking?

And I’m not saying it has to be like this author frames it. Not everyone has the luxury of spending the first three hours of the day meditating, quietly reading, or journaling. Sure, it sounds lovely in theory, but most of us don’t lead monastic lives. I don’t think it’s necessary anyway.

If a person, say, wakes up at 6 am, does the grooming/hygiene thing, maybe eats breakfast or has a hot beverage, could be getting other people ready for their days, perhaps some exercise, likely a commute to the job, then settling in – that’s usually about two hours, right? I mean, I know more than once in college I woke up at 7:30 and still made it to an 8 am class, but college students are not famed for their grooming, nutrition, or good planning. For someone a bit less subject to chaos and late nights than a college student, it seems that arranging a morning to allow for three hours before checking email and social media is entirely a possibility.

It would mean not checking email on the phone while sitting on the subway, and ignoring Twitter until later in the day. It means Facebook instant messages go unanswered for *gasp* maybe a whole twelve hours!! (Seriously – it pisses me off that Facebook tries to shame me by displaying how long it takes me to reply to messages on my author page, encouraging me to respond faster to earn some fucking badge like I care for their rewards. *ahem*) I’m not saying it’s easy to break this habit, especially when these internet companies are hugely invested in training us to look All The Time. I’ve turned off all of my notifications on my phone, and I can’t tell you how often they prompt, then try to command and trick me, to turn them back on. If they want that so badly, we have to know it’s not for OUR benefit.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Time Before the Internet (TBI) and how different the flow of my attention was. And let me be clear: I love what the internet has brought to my life and to the world. Through social media and online groups, I have made many, many lasting friendships, kindred spirits I very likely would never have encountered otherwise. That’s a *huge* thing. As is the flow of information and sharing of important events. But, I’m not a fan of the way I’ve arranged my schedule, thinking, and life to accommodate the internet’s demands for attention.

One thing about the TBI, which closely predated cell phones (at least affordable ones normal people could actually carry around), was that no one expected us to be instantly available. I remember when email became widely used and my older boss commented that it used to be you’d send out a paper and could count on a week or two of it being off your plate before comments arrived in the mail. With email, that buffer time shortened to a day or two – or less. Now we have Facebook exhorting businesses to reply within an hour – or less. In some ways this decreased latency has helped productivity, but I can also see how it forces me into a responsive mode. If I let it, the internet could have me in a constant battle to respond to messages and notifications.

In that state, when I do produce work of my own?

So, I’ve been trying this. I wake up between 5 and 6 am, do the hygiene thing, feed the cats, exercise (which means some reading), record my podcast or write a blog post, and then I go straight to writing. This means I can’t post the podcast or blog to social media until later in the day, but oh well. Does it really matter what time those things post? I don’t think so.

The result has been astonishing. I’ve been getting my 3,000 words done before noon most days. Then, when I’m done and switch over to business, I get through email much more efficiently than before. I go from one task to the next: post my stuff, answer emails, reply to Facebook messages, reply to tweets. Work on other business.

People: I can feel the difference in my brain. My concentration is vastly improved. The book is flowing well. And when I do face the business tasks, those much-dreaded tasks that tend to slide down my To-Do List are actually getting done.

Highly recommend trying this, however you can make it work. No monastic existence necessary

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Rejuvenation and Goal-Setting

The pattern of frost-filigreed wisteria vines is so lovely. The winter holidays are such a great season for rest and rejuvenation – and our weather in the high desert of New Mexico has obliged with lots of snow and freezing temperatures. All the better to keep me cozied indoors and focusing on both relaxing and giving my mind the room to mull thoughts for the coming year. A big part of that is going to be reducing back log and lists. Come on over for more. 

Use It or Lose It


I’m starting to feel a bit done with winter and cold, so here’s a little slice of beach in the Dominican Republic for us to gaze at longingly.

Tell me again why we don’t all live in the Caribbean?

I know, I know – we couldn’t all fit on those little islands.

And we have these lives here, full of technology and working and Many Things To Do. Like email. Which is the topic of a little rant I’d like to share today. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’d like to stand up at the front of the room and say:

There is no excuse anymore for not being able to use your email.

There I said it. I know you’ve all been thinking it, too.

For a long time, the newfangled technology of the interwebs was optional. It started out as the province of antisocial geeks who lurked in dim little rooms lit only by computer monitors. Then the hip, young people starting using it, flinging superficial nonsense at each other across cyberspace. But I’d like to point out a glaring fact: we’ve had email, in one form or another, for over 20 years now.

It has become a standard method of communication for all businesses. Like it or not, email is as integral to our society, particularly our professional society, as cars and traffic are. Not knowing how to use your email is like not knowing what a red light means.

You can choose to be a Luddite, sure. Go find a lovely Caribbean island, hang on the beach, never look at the interwebs. It’s a deliberate choice. However, if you want to be online, email is the first, most basic skill to master.

I bring this up because the online chapter that I’m part of offers workshops. Online writing workshops of various types. People see them, sign up for them, and then inundate us with complaints that they’re not getting emails. This usually has to do with spam filters. Every email provider is different how they do it. But they all try to weed out the crap you don’t want from the sparkly stuff you do want. The spam filter is not a person, though, so the email user has to be intelligent enough to know what the spam rules are, and how to check to see that there’s no good sparkly stuff getting sent to trash.

Seriously, this is like knowing what side of the road to drive on. If you’re going to take your little car on the big internet highway, you have to know this stuff.

I know, I know – a lot of people are older and stars know it’s not easy to keep up with technology. At 44, I already feel a bit of sting here and there when I have to learn a new database or find the tool I need on yet another, more complex iteration of Word. My mother, however, who would kill me for revealing her age, can handle the internet technology. She is in no way a geek and never has been. She knows how to find her spam folder though.

So, I’m officially declaring that not knowing how to work your email is no longer an excuse. If you choose not to drive, fine. But, if you do, please take Driver’s Ed. Learn the traffic laws. Practice. Don’t go careening around the internet, crashing into other drivers and complaining that you don’t know how to drive.

*end of rant*

Meanwhile, I’d like to leave you with the song I’m currently hooked on. It’s kind of sad, but it speaks to something I think we all feel at one time or another. I find it very moving. It’s from Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under, an album I’ve been listening to all week.