Self-Care & Refilling the Well When Things Are on Fire

Exciting news!!! For all of you who have been waiting waiting waiting for the audiobook of ROGUE FAMILIAR, it is liiiivvveeee! Just on Audible for the next 3 months, then it will be wide. If you’d like to review, I do have some free downloads available. Comment here or email Assistant Carien via the website contact form.   

Amusingly enough, our topic at the SFF Seven this week is self-care and burnout. I say amusing because this has been a topic of discussion in Jeffe’s Closet, my Patreon and Discord, these last couple of weeks. One thing I love about that space is that people can ask me questions and it gives me the opportunity to mull answers I hadn’t previously given thought to.

One gal asked me about advice on getting through when you’re faced with deadlines and your well is empty. I talked about this on Monday’s podcast, too, but I’m going to reiterate here because I think our group mind hit on something really important.

We often think of refilling the creative well as something lovely, peaceful, and largely passive. Self-care often carries the sense of similar calm. We think of leisurely strolls, hot bubble baths, a glass of wine, gazing at the sunset with friends, lingering over moving art at museums and galleries. All of these things are lovely… And not terribly useful when you’re facing deadlines, dealing with crises, and you’re already short on time with a well so empty you’ve got nothing left to put out the fires, much less create something to meet those deadlines with.

So, what do we do then?

The thing is, burnout is something we must take very, very seriously. I’ve been there – and once you hit full burnout, the bottom of the well is dry as a bone, then it can takes months or years to recover. It’s easy to put off our mental health, to decide that refilling the well can wait until this family member is doing better, or this deadline is met, or after some future date when we have time to deal with it. Except that mental health and burnout don’t obey our schedules. Taking this approach is like deciding that an infection can wait until we’ve finished some other projects – by the time we’re ready to deal with it, we could have blood poisoning or lose a limb.

What’s the answer then? This was my advice to her: cut out everything that is not actually on fire and aggressively fill the well.

I was concerned that this was too vague, but it worked for her! Sometimes we need permission to ignore everything that is not a crisis – to ask ourselves “is it on fire?” and set it aside if not. As for aggressively filling the well – an image that seemed to amuse everyone – I can’t tell you how to do that. We all have to find what refills our own wells. But as for going about it aggressively, that is the key. That means you’re prioritizing those activities, going after them with gusto, rather than waiting for the water to seep in. Muster your army of brooms and aggressively fill that well!

First Cup of Coffee – June 9, 2023

A round-up of what I’ve been reading lately, including several excursions from my normal reading. I’m thinking about female/femme narratives and how we center those (or don’t) in terms of stories about men.



First Cup of Coffee – May 8, 2023

A bit of advice on how Patreon works, about my meeting with Graphic Audio and how fantasy words like “Cosmere” become part of the industry lingo, and some <> thoughts on the medical establishment and obesity.



 

One Piece of Advice for Aspiring Authors

Figure out what your process is and own it.
See, the point is that every single creator has the0ir own creative process. It’s as individual as retinal patterns. While it can be helpful to take classes on writing processes and techniques, to learn from other authors, in the end we all find that our process is unique to us. I’ve seen SO MANY writers struggle to change their process and try to “make it be” something or other, to no avail. The whole point of learning various techniques is to triangulate on what works for you. It can be a long and iterative process, but that’s the “magic formula.” Figure out what your process is and own it. Don’t try to make your process be something other than what it is, even if you are occasionally frustrated by it. (I often am by mine!)
Like learning to love yourself, learn to embrace your process. Own it. It’s yours.

First Cup of Coffee – April 7, 2023

My Patreon and Discord community are live! I’m also talking about one of the best pieces of writing advice I ever got and how, if you want to be a writer for the right reasons, there’s no fire to put out content.



Announcing My Mentoring Patreon! Also Health Insurance

Exciting news! I’ve officially opened my Patreon: Jeffe’s Closet, A Mentoring Community for Newbie, Intermediate, & Expert Authors. The Patreon leads directly to a Discord community where all kinds of conversations will occur. I’m super excited to make this into a vibrant community. Right now the Discord is open, but pretty quiet – which means you’ll get a lot of personal attention from me. Come and join in!

As far as our topic this week, what we do for health insurance, I self-insure. As a full-time author, I have no employer to provide me with health insurance (or other benefits). My husband took early retirement from his career and was insured through them for quite some time, though each year the premium was sucking up more and more of his retirement stipend. Soon we were going to have to pay in – ugh! Then the concierge health insurance service became available through SFWA (Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association). SFWA collaborated with other writers’ organizations to make this service available to our members. I was able to transfer my husband onto insurance via the Affordable Care Marketplace – and both of us together ended up paying over $1K LESS EVERY MONTH. I’m a fan! Thank you, Obama – seriously.

First Cup of Coffee – March 27, 2023

Can you miss something you never had? Also thoughts on creative crisis, how I always hit a point where I think the book I’m writing is TERRIBLE, and upcoming plans for my mentoring/coaching Patreon and Discord community!



First Cup of Coffee – January 10, 2023

Superpowers, immortality, and whether we’d keep everyone alive forever if we could. Also the movie She Said, reflections on the naughty Tumblr I used to have and how the #metoo movement changed so many things for me.



The Drive to Develop a Writing Practice

Look for the cover reveal for SHADOW WIZARD, book one in Renegades of Magic, the new trilogy continuing the Bonds of Magic epic tale! I’m getting the preorders set up today and plan to do the cover reveal on Instagram tomorrow, August 11, 2022. Members of my private Facebook group, Jeffe’s Closet, may get a sneak peek 😉

This week at the SFF Seven, we’re asking: how has your writing practice changed over time?

It’s interesting because the topic-suggester framed it as “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose” – my college French demanded I get the saying correct – which is a French saying that acknowledges that the more things change, the more they stay the same. In other words, that surface details may alter over time, but the essence of the thing, the recognizable cycle of events, is fundamentally inalterable. Often it’s applied to history. So this suggests that our writing practice may change over time, but it also stays the same. Is this this case?

I’m saying no, at least for me. My writing practice has changed considerably since my newbie days. I was reflecting recently that, as a teen and young woman, I didn’t really know how to apply myself to improving at a task. This largely came from the fact that, in school all the way through high school, I could get by without really trying. I had a good auditory and visual memory, and I tested well, so I didn’t need to work hard to get A’s. (Except in math, which I thought I wasn’t good at, even though they put me in accelerated math classes. Turns out I likely wasn’t good at it because I didn’t like math, so I didn’t listen in class. Oops.) In college and grad school, a number of professors began riding me to apply myself, to study and do the practice problems. I kind of tried to – especially when I had to retake Immunology for my biology major and really didn’t want to have to retake second semester of organic chemistry – but there was a major problem: I didn’t know how to study.

I remember thinking I needed to learn how to study, but I was mostly flailing about. It was only when I had novel deadlines to meet that I got very good at refining my ability to work in concentrated ways, incrementally, day after day. I don’t often think of messages I’d like to give to my younger self, but I now wish I could advise that college student, that graduate student, to develop the habit of working for a couple of hours every morning. This is my best brain time. If I had done that in school, if I had spent just that much time working practice problems and reviewing the material, I likely would have done much better.

Of course, then I might have ended up as a research scientist after all, when I’m so happy as a novelist. Maybe it took working on something I truly cared about to inspire me to develop the practice to do it. Que sera, sera!

 

 

Loved Dark Wizard? Bright Familiar Coming Soon!

So exciting that Dark Wizard has over 100 reviews on Amazon! Thank you all for taking the time to rate and review. I’m hard at work on the sequel, Bright Familiar, which is set for release on July 9. Preorder available on the below retailers or via my website store. Meanwhile, the cover reveal is coming Friday!! Newsletter subscribers will get first eyeballs on the gorgeous cover, and members of my private FB group, Jeffe’s Closet, will get a sneak peek tomorrow. There may also be a snippet from the book in progress. It’s not too late to subscribe to either or both! I can promise that both are very low-key in pinging for attention.