Sapphire Excerpt

Taylor had learned the trick from Worthington early on. Make them wait a bit. Take your time to assemble your thoughts. Clear your desk. Be cool and collected. She added the soothing step of refreshing her lipstick, taking comfort in the crisp, clean line.

When Steve knocked to escort Kirliss in, Taylor was composed and ready.

“Mr. Kirliss.” She picked up the file folder she’d deliberately left out on the otherwise immaculate desk and slid it into the shallow top drawer as he walked in. The image of a busy woman putting her work away. She glanced up, stood and held out a hand over the glossy desk. “The early numbers are looking good. I think you’ll be pleased.”

If possible, he looked better, and more dangerous, than ever before. He raised a sardonic eyebrow at her demeanor. He took her hand and shook it, all politeness, then wrapped his fingers around her wrist, suggestively cuffing the slender bones. Refusing to rise to the bait, Taylor smoothly withdrew her hand. His fingers tightened a moment before releasing her.

“You made me wait.”

“I apologize, Mr. Kirliss—today has been quite busy.” Nicely done, she congratulated herself. The most important part of any meeting was to take control immediately and keep it. So she’d never had to pull this tactic before. The stakes were higher now.

“I understand. And I understand the value of making someone wait.” His golden-brown eyes glinted with amusement, then deliberately perused her with a long, sensuous look. “I look forward to making you wait. And beg.”

“Mr. Kirliss.” At the image, Taylor clenched her teeth on the surge of desire. “I won’t leave this office if you’re going to talk to me that way.”

He glanced around the office, looking interested. “An office always presents many interesting opportunities for games, though I’m surprised you’re willing to take that risk already. Still, whatever you wish, M.”

Taylor folded her arms and glared. Kirliss laughed, tossing his head back with it.

“Shall we?” He gestured toward the doors. “I made reservations for noon and I’d hate to lose them.”

She hesitated.

“You’re not going to chicken out now, are you?”

“You think you’re something.” Taylor grabbed her purse. “But I am hardly afraid of you.” She headed out the doors, letting him follow. “We’re off, Steve.”

“I sent the newest data to your BlackBerry, Ms. Hamilton,” Steve replied. “Mr. Kirliss, always a pleasure to see you.”

The men shook hands and Taylor walked with Kirliss to the elevators.

“He’s a good assistant,” Kirliss commented. “Sharp.”

“The best I’ve ever had. He’s been with me for three years now and I’m going to have to promote him before long. Which means training someone new.”

“I have something at Jaguar that might be perfect for him.” Kirliss looked thoughtful. “What are you paying him now?”

“Don’t you dare poach my assistant!” Taylor laughed. Then she caught herself, surprised that she’d fallen into the pattern of banter they’d enjoyed these last months.

They rode down in the elevator in silence. Taylor practiced her speech.

“I thought we’d walk—it’s great weather today.” Kirliss took her elbow to guide her in the right direction. “So, how are you planning to break up with me?”

“I don’t have to break up with you,” she returned, “as we don’t have a relationship.”

“Everybody has relationships. It’s just a matter of determining what kind.”

“Well, then I’m determined that you and I will have a business relationship.”

“Negotiations are always fun. I look forward to hearing your business plan. And presenting my own counteroffer.”

Taylor pressed her lips together. How could every damn thing this man said sound sexual?

They sat at a table on the deck overlooking the harbor. Taylor enviously noted that some of the other women were enjoying golden wine in full-bellied glasses, but she opted for iced tea. She didn’t need the afternoon sleepies—or to let down her guard with Kirliss, who ordered a café Americano.

Taylor opened her mouth to begin her speech, then bit down on it when he reached into his jacket and withdrew a rose to lay on her plate. Extraordinarily large and perfect, the rose’s pristine white petals were tinged scarlet at the edges, as if they’d been dipped in blood. She brushed the velvety texture with tentative fingertips, oddly moved by the gesture.

“‘For even the love that is purest and sweetest has a kiss of desire on the lips,’” Kirliss quoted in a husky voice.

She looked up to find him observing her with inscrutable brown eyes. She raised her eyebrows, deliberately arch. “Love poetry? And here I thought this was about sex.”

“That too. Desire is about both, don’t you think? O’Reilly thought so.”

Taylor gazed at his intent expression, feeling off balance again.

“What I think,” she said in a crisp tone, deliberately setting the rose aside and starting her speech, “is that you and I are business associates. A sexual…dalliance is not appropriate.”

“None of the good stuff is,” he agreed in an easy tone. “But when your life is all about the job, like it is for you and I, we have to find ways to work around that.”

“I’m not interested.”

“The hell you aren’t. You’re just afraid of the way you lose control with me.”

Taylor sipped her icy tea. “What happened last night was—”

“Delicious.”

“A horribly inappropriate fluke.”

“Don’t you believe in love?” Kirliss leaned over his plate, steepling his fingers. “In the intimacy of sex and the dark desires people can share?”

“Never mind that you’re mixing emotion and lust—what I believe is irrelevant and immaterial to this conversation, Mr. Kirliss.”

“I’ve decided I like how you call me ‘Mr. Kirliss.’ I picture you whispering it, hands tied behind your back, kneeling naked at my feet.”

Taylor’s heart thumped, her groin clenching with unexpected heat. She cast about, looking to see if anyone at the nearby tables had overheard. The ladies who lunched at the next table laughed and clinked their wineglasses, in another world. The suited men on the other side were talking loudly of the stock market. Still, enough was enough. Taylor carefully folded her napkin, laid it across her plate, started to stand.

Kirliss’s hand shot across the table, steel fingers wrapping around her wrist, wrapping her heart in that scary feeling of helpless need.

“Let go of me,” Taylor said softly.

“I’ve only just got a hold of you—how can I?”

“I can’t do this.”

“You’re afraid of it. Afraid of how much you want it.”

“Hi, folks. Sorry to keep you waiting. Ready to order your lunch?” The chirpy waitress fluttered at Kirliss, eyes only for him.

Kirliss released her wrist, turning the gesture so he stroked her palm with slow heat. “Well, M, what did you decide on?”

Taylor could see herself walking away. She could tip her wrist and exclaim at the time on her silver watch, cite an important meeting she’d forgotten. Kirliss watched her, brown eyes intent. This was absolutely the moment for her to walk.

She ordered the crab salad. And a glass of Chardonnay.

She didn’t hear what Kirliss ordered, her ears too full of rushing blood. She hadn’t agreed to a damn thing, she told herself. It was just lunch.

“So, what does the M stand for?” Kirliss sat back, relaxed.

“Have you had your OCD professionally diagnosed?” Taylor returned in the same conversational tone.

Kirliss chuckled. “You know well that I can be quite obsessive about details I’m interested in. I’m interested in you, M. I’m looking forward to uncovering that sweet, hot, gooey center that Taylor protects so carefully.”

“I find it…unsettling, that you talk like I’m two different people.”

“And yet, you don’t argue the point.”

“Debates with you tend to end up in one place, I’ve found.”

“Oh yes?” Kirliss purred. “Is this the place where you’re naked and I’m ravishing you?”

“I haven’t agreed to anything.”

“Haven’t you? You’re still sitting here.”

Taylor shrugged. “A girl needs to eat.”

“And yet you were about to get up and walk out five minutes ago.”

The chirpy waitress brought Taylor’s wine, sighed in Kirliss’s direction and reluctantly left again. Taylor sipped it, watching Kirliss warily over the rim.

“First rule, M—you may not walk out of any situation I put you in, unless you call your safe word.”

Sapphire. She hadn’t forgotten. A wise woman would have defused this entire situation with that one simple word. All along she’d had the key to escape. But she hadn’t used it. Not last night. Not today. Her blood ran hot. Did she dare put herself in this man’s hands?

“Perhaps I don’t choose to use that word because I refuse to engage in your game.”

“It’s understandable. You need to put up a token effort for the propriety of your conscious mind. You maybe find the struggle thrilling. I’ll let you in on a secret.” Kirliss leaned forward and stroked the petals of the rose. “I confess I like it when you struggle too. It…stirs me.”

Taylor gathered herself. Desire raged through her, filling her with life. Everything seemed sharper: the blue of the sky, the gold of his eyes, the crisp oak of the wine. Lust and curiosity drove her. The words came out of her mouth before she fully formed the question in her mind.

“Let’s say I don’t use my out. What would the other rules be?”

Triumph flared in the eyes across the table. “It’s very simple, M. You do as I say, without hesitation.”

The waitress set their plates down, but Kirliss never glanced at her, he was so focused on Taylor. As soon as she left again, he continued in that quiet, relentless voice.

“I will never interfere with business or cause you to consider that your career or reputation might be harmed. What goes on between us is, and always will be, private. But I will ask a great deal of you, M. Things that Taylor might not be comfortable with.”

Taylor couldn’t meet his eyes. Her chest felt too tight for breath. She tasted some of the succulent crab. Surreal, having this conversation. Feeling the arousal pulse through her.

“So I just let you do whatever you like to me. Unless I cry off.”

“Yes.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“Oh no, M. It won’t be easy. I intend to break you apart and rend you open. You’re right. This isn’t about love. Nor is it just about sex. It’s about possession and knowledge. I want all of you and I will open every secret, dark corner of you until I’ve had it all.”

Taylor stared at him, terrified and aroused. How was it possible to feel both things at once?

“And then what?” she asked, her voice unsteady.

Kirliss shrugged. “Who knows the answer to that at the start of any relationship?”

He had a point.

“I seem to recall you saying you weren’t interested in having a slave?”

He flashed white teeth at her. “I’m not. I’m interested in having a lover. One who shares my particular bent.”

“And you think I do.”

He leaned forward, fingers tightening around her wrist. She trembled at the touch and she knew he felt it.

“If I slipped my hand into your panties right now, I’m sure I’d find you dripping wet. Shall I tell you to accompany me to some dark corner so we can test my theory?”

She stared at him, helpless to answer. Part of her wished he would pull her into that corner and do all the things he’d done the night before and more. The other part protested that she couldn’t allow it.

He rubbed his thumb over her pounding pulse and smiled at her. “Hold that thought—we’ll take it up tonight.”

Taylor tugged her hand back to fork up some salad. “I’m supposed to do whatever you say in all aspects of my life? What happens if you tell me something like that and I have another engagement—a business dinner or if I need to work late?”

“That’s what your safe word is for.”

“What if—” Taylor took a bite and pointed her fork at him, “—I don’t choose to use that word.”

“It’s not a capitulation to use it. It’s a way of communicating.”

“I’ll communicate how I choose. What if I can’t meet one of your demands and I don’t use the get-out-of-jail card?”

“If you tell me no without the safe word, you’ll be punished.”

The crab stuck in her throat. “Punished? How?”

Kirliss shrugged and flipped careless fingers at the perky waitress for the bill. “However I choose. That’s part of it.”

“If I do…meet you tonight, what happens? Dinner? Full-out kinky sex or what?”

He chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “Oh no, Taylor, you don’t get to control this. That’s the whole point.”

“Well, how do I know what to wear?” she snapped. He seemed to find her buttons with uncanny accuracy.

He raised his eyebrows. “Why, darling, you’ll wear what I tell you to.”

Feeding the Vampire Excerpt

He leaned up on his elbow, cupping my cheek in one long-fingered hand. His eyes glowed, long hair fell over his shoulder, golden like the silk cords that bound my wrists. “They’re two faces of the same coin, you know. Over time, you’ll find the pain is seductive in its own way.”

He bent over me, his hair falling around me to curtain us from the world. His lips brushed hot against mine, drawing a helpless sigh out of me.

“Let me seduce you, my rose.” His mouth sank over mine, tasting of cinnamon, mace and blood.

Longing swelled up in me and I melted beneath him. His lips moved, strong and gentle, thrilling in their searing touch. He licked my lips, a breath of movement and sank in again, urging me to open to him. With a helpless moan, I did. I didn’t have to tell him he’d had me since that first feeding. Since I’d handed myself to him on a faux-foil cardboard platter under fluorescent lights.

He hummed with delight, his tongue sliding along the tender tissues of my mouth. I drowned in the shivering sensations, pleasure roaring through me. His hand slid down my throat in a lingering caress, trailing to circle my nipple again. I strained against him, close to begging in my delirium. Red and black pulsed in my brain. I tried to remember what I’d been unhappy about. Nothing mattered but this.

A sharp fang sliced the slick tissue of my lower lip and I convulsed, the pain cutting through the dark and sensual haze. His tongue laved the cut, sparking an ache. He crawled over me, straddling my body with his knees and cupping my cheekbones with both hands, tilting my head back so he could better slant his lips over mine. Blood swirled in my mouth and Ivan sucked on it, feeding from me with deep, thrilling kisses. I was a goblet he drank from.

Petals and Thorns Excerpt

She once again struggled to keep pace with his long strides, until the dark hallway opened into the most glorious atrium.

Woes temporarily forgotten, Amarantha gazed in wonder at the glass walls and ceiling sparkling in the midday light. Sunshine flooded the room from three sides and roses, bloodred roses, filled every corner. Here and there, graceful sculptures peeked between the blooms.

Velvet crimson spills, mounds and waterfalls, the roses tumbled out of urns and thrust up from beds built into the floor. The roses Father had brought surely came from these.

Amarantha realized she stood alone in the middle of the floor. The Beast had settled into a wooden chair, massive as a throne, studded with iron rings in various places. It was perfectly situated so that he might survey the room.

And everything in it.

“I enjoy beauty, as I mentioned.” The Beast leaned his cloaked head against one fist. “I am ready to savor yours.”

She could run, perhaps. Bolt back down the hallway. Then what?

“Amarantha, I want you to take down your hair, remove all of your clothing, and set it on the floor. When you are done, you will place it all—the clothing, your hairpins, whatever jewelry you might be wearing—on that press over there.” He waved a languid hand at the far end of the room, where a wooden stand stood among more roses. “You will find a pair of shoes over there. Put them on and return to me.”

She froze. Surely this couldn’t be happening.

“My bride,” the Beast said with utmost gentleness, “every moment you hesitate earns you punishment.”

“You promised not to injure me,” she stammered.

“And indeed I will not. Punishment does not mean injury. In fact”—he leaned forward in the chair—“I shall let you in on a secret. I not only excel at punishing a beautiful woman without injuring her, but I love every moment of it.”

Amarantha shuddered.

“Were I you”—he settled back in the chair—“I wouldn’t give away opportunities for punishment. But that’s entirely your choice. You’ve earned one punishment for your hesitation. Proceed with my instructions.”

With trembling fingers, Amarantha reached up to pull the pins from her hair. Drawing out the process, she set them one by one on the floor. The Beast, however, did not seem inclined to urge her to move more quickly. His head once again propped on his fist, he watched her from the shadows of his hood.

Amarantha ran out of pins. She ran her fingers through her hair, shaking out the formal coils her sisters had twisted in.

“Continue.”

PayPal Pain

It’s been all over the writer’s gossip circles this week, but a lot of you may not know what’s going on with Paypal.

This article gives a good summary of the situation. And the lovely and talented Stephanie Draven posted this excellent summary of the legal issues involved.

Essentially what’s going on is that PayPal – a company that processes online payments – has told some of its vendors that they cannot sell certain kinds of books. Smashwords, which is a self-publishing service, has agreed to comply, though the founder is unhappy. All Romance eBooks has apparently been asked to comply. What’s extraordinary about this is that PayPal is dictating what kind of erotica is okay to sell. While some of their no-no topics are consistent with many publishers – no rape for titillation, no bestiality, no pedophilia, no incest – they’ve verged into other areas as well, such as BDSM.

It’s not at all clear what kind of standard they’re applying. Even more unclear is why they get to. PayPal is a merchant attempting to apply pressure on other merchants dependent on their services to censor certain books.

Now I am a believer in access to books. To all books.

I’ve never subscribed to the idea that it somehow damages or poisons a person to read anything. All knowledge is worth having. It’s up to us, as thinking human beings, to decide what ideas to keep and which to discard. Also, I believe erotic fiction provides an outlet for enjoying the concept of a sexual practice that may never occur in real life.

Finally, I think allowing any censorship, on any basis, allows for censorship on other bases. One of my friends said a reader contacted her because she was upset about the presence of the “Christian Devil” in her books. It’s always an option, not to read. But other people should have the freedom to do so.

So, I’ve decided to close my PayPal account. I’m sorry, because I found their service convenient. I now have to mail a check where I once would have used PayPal. Some merchants, who only use PayPal, will no longer be accessible to me.

However, I cannot support their attempts at censorship.

Making Marketing Decisions

An oft-lamented part of being a writer is the promotions end.

Some writers are good at it, but for the most part, the majority of us are writers because we don’t like to sell stuff. Otherwise we’d have fabulous careers doing that. But we know that’s part of the gig. Even the big, traditionally published authors have to self-promote. And there’s this huge array of options for doing it.

Too huge, really.

Part of the problem is, there are a lot of scavengers out there wanting a bite of the writer’s kill. They see us as having this lovely, juicy carcass and they want some. This is part of being a primary producer – we have something to sell, so lots of secondary processors are willing to step up and get their percentage by helping us sell it. That sounds kind of bad and I don’t mean it that way – though it is the syndrome that’s driving more authors to self-publishing, to eliminate at least some of those middlemen and women.

Knowing that writers must invest in self-promotion, there are many venues out there offering to help. Now, not all are making money off of it. Chapters that host conferences are happy to take promotional materials for the goody bags or baskets of goodies for auctions. Blogs love to have guest posters, book bloggers like to do interviews and book giveaways. Then there’s the ads in magazines or on websites. The conferences and appearances.

I get these offers in my email, often sent by wonderful friends – here’s an opportunity for you! I look at it and try to decide if it’s worth the investment of my time and money.

Making decisions is an interesting thing. The “cide” in decide means to cut. As in incisive and excise and incisor. So when we make a decision, we cut away the other possibilities. And each decision alters our life path. Maybe in a minute way, but because I decided to do this, I am not doing that. So, each decision takes a commitment of energy. A bit of oomph behind the direction to create a vector.

Sometimes, I feel like I just don’t have the energy to decide just then.

So, I save these opportunity emails. And they pile up in my In-Box, a logjam of indecision. Like all log-jams, it’s much worse then, to deal with that huge, roiling mass of decisions than if I’d just handled them one by one.

Alas.

I’m happy to report my In-Box is empty now. All decisions made.

My criteria? I went back to Choosing the Happy. If it sounded fun and happy-making, I said yes. If for any reason it didn’t, I said no.

Hey – at least the river is running clear now!

Cats and Character Arcs

I posted this pic on Twitter and Facebook yesterday, so apologies if it’s a repeat for you.

It’s a good example, though, of what I let Isabel get away with. No, of course I can’t work very well like this – but do I scoot her off my desk? No no no. One sleepy stretch and contented purr and I’m putty in her so-fuzzy paws.

Part of this is because Isabel has never been a lap cat. In fact, we’ve taken to calling her Nearby Cat. She likes to be close by – e.g., where my keyboard should be – but rarely actually on us. Another favorite position of hers is to lie on the back of the chair or couch and put one paw on whoever is sitting there. Nearby cat.

But Isabel is changing as she gets older – a personality evolution that’s fascinating to observe. She turned six recently and is now a fully adult cat. Maine coon cats are different than many breeds in that they don’t get their full growth until about five years. Isabel is the baby of the family, too, and we still call her the Kitten. She came into our lives at a very dark time. We were in the middle of winter, our five-year old cat had just died of cancer and we’d also had to put down our ancient border collie. Isabel the Kitten brought much-needed light and life for all of us. So, though she’s adult now, compared to our 11 year-old border collie and 16 year-old senior cat, she’s a baby.

Except…

See, this is the interesting part. You’ve seen those videos where the kitty-cat chases the bear away? (Here’s one, if you haven’t.) Well, since we moved to Santa Fe, to this rural setting where coyotes, bobcats and mountain lions are part of the landscape she’s moved into a new phase of herself: Guard Cat.

She, the smallest family member, is the self- appointed protector of the entire household. She prowls the property lines. She watches out the windows. When she spots a coyote, she comes to tell us, tail-lashing with indignation.

Then, yesterday, senior-cat Teddy came to lie under my office chair while I was working. I didn’t know she was there. And I have a chair with wheels and a brick floor. Yes – I ran over Teddy’s tail AND caught some of the fur up in the bearings. If you’ve ever stepped on a cat’s tail, you can now hear the caterwauling that ensued. Before I’d managed to do more than stand, Isabel had bolted into the room, quivering, eyes dilated, ready to defend Teddy. By then Teddy was fine, but Isabel had to sniff her over and then prowl my entire office, checking security.

I have never had a cat like this.

More, Isabel never used to be like this. I wonder where it comes from, since she’s not learning it from the other animals. It’s something in her, some dormant instinct, perhaps, welling up to meet the challenges of her life. Along with this change has come the increased affection. She seeks me out for this together time and I find myself unable to deny her.

I’ve been thinking about long character arcs. I’m mulling over the next books in A Covenant of Thorns and thinking about the long-term journeys of the characters. More than just solve the immediate problem (run off that coyote) but how that changes the person over a lifetime (greater vigilance, protectiveness, affection).

After all, if a cat can change so much, how might a human grow?

Of course, it could be just that Isabel is an unusual heroine.

A Sliver of Something Special

I had a naked incubus in my bedroom. With a frying pan of half-cooked bacon and a hard-on. And a unicorn bite on his ass. Christ, this was turning out to be a weird morning.

~~ A Brush of Darkness, Allison Pang

Allison Pang and I have been friends and critique partners for, wow, over four years now? I know that’s not a huge span of time, but my how it has flown by. I remember when she sent me the first chapter of her A Brush of Darkness draft – and how gracefully she took it when I ripped it apart. The line above was part of the book even then and I remember her hesitating over whether to use it in querying. Oh she absolutely should. She did and now it’s hard to imagine it any other way.

So I’m delighted to host Allison for the release tomorrow of the sequel: A Sliver of Shadow. In honor of the occasion, Allison has arranged for you all to have a chance to win a special gift.

** I forgot to say — the contest runs through midnight eastern time on Wednesday, 2/29. **

I’m going to string balloons and streamers while she tells you about it.

One of the things I’ve always enjoyed about writing is not only putting the words on the page, but also envisioning certain scenes in my head.  What’s even more fun is getting a chance to see someone else’s vision of those same scenes.

Over the past year I’ve had the pleasure of receiving both gifts and commissions from several talented artists who have brought my characters to life in a way I never could, in the form of sketch cards  and trading cards and just lovely pieces of art.

I give away the trading cards on a regular basis, but to celebrate the release of A Sliver of Shadow, I wanted to offer up a custom one-of-a-kind sketch card as a prize to one lucky winner.  The art will be created by Aimo, who has done a number of pieces for me, and who will be collaborating with me on a graphic novel that will go live in the spring. (You can find out more about it over at Sad Sausage Dogs.)

The winner will receive a 2 x 3 inch sketch card, drawn, inked and colored with traditional media by Aimo. The scene can be anything from A Brush of Darkness or A Sliver of Shadow – winner’s choice, as long as it stays within the bounds of Aimo’s requirements (i.e. nothing overly explicit, etc.).

Leave a comment for a chance to win! (If you’d like to share your favorite scene, that would be great too.)

Ducking the Spanking

One of the things I love about this house is how the sunset fills every window. I don’t often take photos from inside the house, but I thought I’d try. Can’t get all the windows very well, though.

Hmm. Maybe I need a panorama card for my camera!

Writers tend to have funny conversations. If overheard, they might sound quite alarming. Discussions of how best to kill people, how to dispose of the bodies, argument over what kind of childhood trauma is the most scarring. For writers of the smexy, it can get particularly interesting. Especially when you’ve worked with the same critique partners (CP) long enough to have shorthand references.

The other day, I told one of my CPs that she was ducking the spanking again. No, not like when we were kids and hoped mom and dad would forget about the promised punishment. This referred back to a story she wrote, with BDSM elements, where the prospect of a spanking was held out for most of the story and, when the moment arrived, she glossed it.

Voodoo Bride knows about this. There’s nothing worse (for readers like us, anyway) to be promised a sexually intense situation that never materializes or is glossed over. The whole point of something like a spanking scene is that it’s intense and difficult and puts the characters into an extreme situation. It’s a very human and polite tendency to back away from tremendously fraught situations like that.

However: this is the story gold.

So when I read my CP’s story and felt like she’d created a very tense, difficult scenario and then defused it by making it not so bad after all, I could tell her she was ducking the spanking and she understood right away.

Now, I’m not saying you have to include a spanking scene, metaphorically or literally. If you don’t want to go there, don’t. But, if you include something like that, then follow where it leads, into all the dark, twisty, intense shadows.

If you’re going to have a spanking, make it a good one.

Aaaandd on that note – you all have a great weekend!