Curing Author Jealousy

In some parts of the world, people check their shoes for scorpions. In my house, you must check under the couch pillows for attack kittens.

Yesterday, I had a minor attack of author jealousy. I don’t like admitting it, but I consider this part of my therapy. I saw someone else’s book praised – a book that’s gotten several forms of praise that mine hasn’t – and the emotions rushed up and stabbed me. Calling it the Green Monster is a good analogy because that’s just how it feels, that toothy, nasty creature gnawing at your gut.

So, I sent an SOS to a good author friend, to talk me out of my tree, which she did immediately and admirably. She also asked, “could this be PMS?” (Sorry guys out there – just cover your eyes.) And I realized, to my great chagrin that, oh yes, the timing was exactly perfect for that.

How I hate being cliché.

Still, regardless of my personal hormone levels, the point is well taken: jealousy is an internal thing, not an external one.

This is easy to confuse, because it always feels like an external trigger. Why does HER book get attention that MINE doesn’t?? Never mind that I like her, love her book and truly wish her well. No matter the awards and love showered on my book in other ways. She has something I don’t and suddenly I’m five years old again and wailing over the one dolly some other kid has.

It’s baseless and childish, but still a real feeling.

That’s something I’ve learned from David, who just graduated with a degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine, is the perspective that emotions affect our health. I guess we all kind of know this already, but sometimes I know I don’t take it seriously. But bottled-up emotions, in particular, eat at us – much like that toothy green monster – creating conditions for pathologies to set in. The trick is to accept the emotion and let it flow, through and out, where it can’t poison anything.

So, how did I release my stupid fit of jealousy?

1. Acknowledge that it’s real that I feel this way.

2. Vent to a friend who validated that it’s real and who loves me anyway.

3. Take positive action to get myself what I want.

What kind of action did I take? Well, I could have done any number of things – sent my book to a reviewer, entered in for an award, gone on a promo bender. All of those things have rewards that are outside of my control. And it’s really just jonesing for that chocolate-covered heroin of attention.

So what’s the one thing I can do, that I can always control as a writer? That is the fundamentally most important thing for me to be spending my time and energy on?

That’s correct.

Say it with me, kids: WRITE.

That’s what I did. I spent an hour writing on the new novella my editor asked me to write. Which I need to work on anyway.

And afterwards? I felt ever so much better besides being a few steps closer to my goal.

Getting Pounded – and Surviving

We had this massive hailstorm the night before last. We’d been getting evening rains, but this one turned black, with a pounding downpour. When you have a flat roof, like many of us here in New Mexico do, you really hear the rain come down, drumming just overhead. So, when the hail started, it sounded no different at first. But as it grew in size, it became sharper, heavier, more dramatic.

Then these started falling:

Let me tell you – when a chunk of ice that size hits your skylights? (and we have five) It sounds like being under artillery fire.

(Or how I imagine being under artillery fire would sound, since I’ve lead a blessed life and have never experienced such a thing. Actually, I’m pretty sure being under artillery fire probably sounds much worse and is far more scary, but I’m going for the dramatic analogy here.)

David and I kind of paced from window to window, staring out in awe. The desert ground looked like it was jumping with fleas, constantly in motion. The water shot off the roof canales with such speed and volume that it fell past the rain barrel catchments. And yet, they all totally filled anyway. We stared up at the skylights, fully expecting one of these missiles to rocket through.

Just amazing when something like that occurs and you just have to wait it out.

Mother Nature rules.

In the aftermath, we found that our grape arbor, which had been heavy with just-ripe grapes is nearly completely decimated. Grapes and leaves are two-inches thick on the ground. Other plants, like the Russian Sage, look like nothing happened. Our jelly feeder out front was battered to bits, while the agave below it appear untouched.Within moments of the rain and hail easing, the towhees and hummingbirds were out again, happily feeding. I have no idea where they sheltered.

This says something about resilience to me.

That and the fact that our skylights seem to be just fine. And that I’m contemplating making grape jam.

Climbing Back into Routine

I took this photo back on July 3. Apparently. I don’t remember taking it and was surprised to find it in my cache of photos to use.

But that seems about right – July was when everything seriously picked up speed. Although I note that I talked about my decimated writing schedule on June 19, alas. I was also in a heavy meme of Cute Kitten Pics for a while. There will be more of those to come!

Still, between work travel, conventions, graduation with family visits, I’ve been totally off my rhythm and ritual.

You all know how I am about my rituals.

~weeps for shattered rituals~

So, today, I’m climbing back on the wagon. Like a party girl after a six-week bender, I’m going clean and sober again. This means full rules of observing word count and writing time. Turning off the interwebs. Code One Writing Rules.

See, the rituals are there to create that sacred space to write. I’ve talked about this many times, such as here. For me, there’s a sense of building a wall around that sacred space. We all build those walls in different ways. For me it’s about a certain time on the clock, using Freedom to keep me from looking at the internet, playing particular music and enforcing word count goals. Once I’m in my rhythm, I can bend some of those rules, because I’m in the space. I don’t need to work so hard to create it.

But now, with my sacred writing space in rubble at my feet, I have to reimpose maximum measures. It’s like placing myself in solitary confinement until I can demonstrate better behavior. I know it will be painful at first and after that, the writing will flow again and I can take a few hours in the exercise yard.

On that note… see you on the flip side!

Hunting the Siren, coming August 31!

Book two in the Blood Currency series. Follow-up to Feeding the Vampire.

Same world, different vampire.

 A vampire queen grown powerful with age, Imogen has protected her band of nightriders through the centuries. When refugee vampires from earthquake-shattered Europe seek shelter and sustenance, she’s honor-bound to feed them, by any means necessary. When her lieutenants dump the vengeful human man Kasar at her feet, Imogen succumbs to his masculine vitality and her overwhelming hunger for his blood—and his body.

Kasar has survived the breaking of the world, only to discover the vampire queen has slaughtered his sister and her unborn child. With the last of his bloodline dead, only his desire for vengeance keeps Kasar alive. He imagines he can pretend to succumb to Imogen’s seduction—not that he has much of a choice, chained as he is to the foot of her bed—and bide his time until he has an opportunity to kill her. The passion he finds in her arms is unexpected, and impossible to resist. But this haven of desire and satiation could easily destroy them both.

Pre-order here!

Believe in the Pantser!

I’d like to introduce you to my friend, newly published author Branli Caidryn. He’s guest-blogging here today and publicly acknowledging how I, the wise pantser I am, know all!

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Finally! Published!

At least that’s what a lot of my friends are saying. I admit, my response is a bit more reserved—okay, I’m lying. It’s a bit more like; OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THIS!

For well over a year I planned and outlined my approach to going indie. It wasn’t an easy decision. In fact, for the longest time I was set on going traditional. No question. For years I was purchasing the Writer’s Market book and researching publishers and agents. The Query Shark site was practically the home page on my browser for all those years. Then, I changed my mind.

I can’t pinpoint what it was that made me go Indie. It was a combination of things—aside from the profit margins—what I really liked was the creative freedom. Granted, a few small presses now offer more creative freedom to an author than before, but it wasn’t enough. Once the decision was made, I started planning again. I changed course and before I knew it I was setting up a business and signing agreements with distributors and printers. It wasn’t easy. I learned a lot over the course of a year. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t have made it this far if I hadn’t researched and planned all this out. I just about planned out every month and set goals.

Oddly, for all the planning, outlining, and research… when the time finally came, it didn’t make hitting the ‘publish’ button any easier. I think Jeffe saw this. For as much as I teased her once on twitter for being a pantser versus a plotter, I couldn’t take the next bold step. The many passes, rewrites and edits couldn’t prepare me for the giant leap. I’d spend weeks going over every single marketing and publishing strategy, down to the day-to-day activity. In hindsight, my biggest error was that my plan had me trying a different marketing strategy every single day! What’s the problem with this? It doesn’t give time for any one method to work—much less see results. Plus, the contingencies weren’t in place to say what to do if one method didn’t work. I was simply busying myself with just about every known marketing approach!

In talking to Jeffe and trying to explain the reasons why I hadn’t set a release date, or why I wasn’t ready to publish—I mean really I was just floundering in the open trying to come up with a good excuse.

“Do it!” she said. “Hit the button.”

I have to say it was the perfect advice.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have all the basic outlines and marketing strategies. But now that my book is out there, I can think much easier on my feet and take it one day at a time. There’s an overall plan, but it’s mostly a see-and-wait approach; and I think for someone who is just starting off, that’s okay. I’ve read many books on the proper book release strategies and each one was slightly different, though in some cases they contradicted one another.

Don’t pay for blog tours. Not worth it.

Be ready to pay for most blog tours.

Never do paid advertisement.

Never price at $0.99. You devalue your work and everybody else’s.

Price $0.99, but only for your first book, or a promo.

Never pay for book reviews.

Be ready to pay for most book reviews.

The list honestly keeps going. Like I said, I tried wrapping my mind around all this, planning things out for a few months. I’m sure I’d still be busy doing all this had Jeffe not come to my rescue. It comes down to diving right in, sink or swim, and see what works for you. I keep what I’ve learned in the back of my head as a general guide, but not as set rules that can’t be altered on a whim. Dare, I say, I believe in the pantser.

Phoenix Splinter (Book 1 in the Project Horizon trilogy)

Keith Groenewald is an escaped experiment from the top secret military known as Area Fifty-One. Veluz, a powerful secret society, helps keep Keith hidden from the government hands that demand his return. But everything has a price and his purpose goes far beyond what he knew. His creation and his role are other-worldly.

Currently available in ebook, with print becoming available by August 13th. 

 

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/phoenix-splinter-branli-caidryn/1112327990

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/208477

UK Site: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008R9DICI

US Site: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008R9DICI

 

Debut promo price for ebook:

US $0.99

UK £0.77

Promo price ends August 12th

 

Agent? Haz

So, I’m in downtown Atlanta this week – see? – working that day job.

I would make a Sixteen Tons reference, but I’m a numbers jockey and my grandfather died of Black Lung – there’s really no comparison.

But this is a Bright and Shiny Week for me. Because? Yes!

I signed with the agent. The one who chased me down.

(A girl likes to be pursued.)

After talking with the other agents and deliberating with friends. And Thinking. And Comparing. And DELIBERATING. I made my choice last night. I agreed (and announced!) that I would sign with…

Pam van Hylckama Vlieg

Associate Agent with the venerable Larsen Pomada Literary Agents.

What can I say? She wooed me and I couldn’t resist. She loves that I’m the bad girl of sultry romance. It’s good to be loved.

Kisses Pam!

 

Final Wrap-Up of RWA. Includes Dancing.

Hey, it’s Friday, which means it’s my last day to wrap up the final two days of the conference. Which pretty accurately captures how it all feels at that point: fast and compressed.

First thing that Friday morning, I dragged myself together in time to meet several other Carina authors (Jennifer Bray-Weber, Adrienne Giordano, Ruth Casie, Rita Henuber, Julie Rowe) and Carina freelance editor Mallory Braus for breakfast with our Brenda Novak auction winner. We had a lovely time – including mimosas! Poor Joyce had managed to sprain her ankle the day before, tripping over tape at the doors of the keynote luncheon, and was a real trooper. She asked us for the honest dirt on writing for Carina and we all raved with the lurv. So much for dirt!

I made it back over to the convention in time to catch the tail end of Marcella’s workshop on using acting techniques to add tension and emotion into your writing. She even put me on the spot to talk about Feeding the Vampire, which she’d used early on as an example of starting with action. Hey kids – I’m an example! And not a cautionary tale this time!


Robyn Carr spoke at that day’s luncheon and did a marvelous job. She gave us her personal story, which is my favorite kind of talk. It took her thirty years to make the NYT Bestseller list, so she said she wasn’t inspirational to anyone. She so was. You might have seen all the people tweeting her best line: “Success is not measured by fame or fortune or power. Success is measured in moments of satisfaction.”

After lunch, an incredibly handsome man gave me a massage. He’d been set up there all week and, by this point, had three other handsome young men working with him. Brilliant business idea. I told him a lot of heroes would be modeled on him after that. He laughed but, after he finished, he knelt down and put my shoes on, which involved tying the ribbons around my ankles. He gave me a sexy smile and said how into those shoes he could get. Several women watching said they nearly swooned on the spot.

After more workshops, that evening was the Carina Press Author Cocktail Party. Always a delight. I made two new friends there, Cathy Perkins, who I’d vaguely known from Twitter before that, but never really talked to, and Monique Domovitch, a brand new author, who is also with fabulous Editor Deb. We hit it off so well that we retired to the pool bar for a glass of wine before the Harlequin party. Alas, Monique had signed too recently to go, but we had lunch the next day, where I think we talked for two hours. My favorite part of conference: new friends!

The Harlequin party was, again, awesome. Held off site with a tight invitation list, the party showers us with treats. Wait staff were lined up at the doors with trays of a special pink Harlequin martini. I may have had three that night… Which isn’t as bad as it sounds, because I danced and danced and danced.

The lead photo up top is from that party, showing one of my local chapter mates, Robin Perini, explaining something to agent Laurie McLean. And here’s Pam van Hylckama Vlieg, a junior agent with Laurie’s agency, giving us the Vogue pose.

Here’s the ever-vivacious Victoria Dahl, being unnaturally demure.

And Carina Press Executive Editor Angela James, with photo bomb provided by the wiley Andrew Schaffer.

And Carina Press Editorial Assistant Carrie Holden holding an incredibly earnest conversation with freelance editor Rhonda Helms.

Mallory Braus, looking deceptively sweet.

And the dancing, of course.

Hope to see you all next year!