First Cup of Coffee – May 2, 2022




Transcript
00:00.00
jeffekennedy
Good morning everyone this is Jeffe Kennedy author of fantasy romance and romantic fantasy I’m here with my first cup of coffee.

00:12.73
jeffekennedy
Ah, so it’s been it’s been a thing ah I had a great weekend I kind of finished off with a bang. Oh I should say Monday today Monday bla blah blah it is monday. May second we are fully into the merry months of may which means um, sexy things for those of you who know we won’t get into it even though we are hardly Pg here at first cup of coffee. Yeah, whatever. Ah I did get this secret garden cleaned up if you’re on video you could say it’s looking much better I did not quite finish the vine behind me that needs yet to be done. Might be able to see that I have the hummingbird feeder up I’ve actually spotted hummingbirds. It was so nice to have them back again. Um, and everything is leafing out ah in cleaning up the yard yesterday. The garden I got a really. Nice surprise and I don’t know if I mentioned it here on the show last fall but I was looking back at old pictures of our garden and Laramie, Wyoming where we lived for 20 years and we had had this beautiful. Bleeding heart by the front door of the first house we bought together and it was in the shade east facing and it was gorgeous. It was like a couple feet tall and. I don’t know I might have seen 1 in someone else’s garden but it reminded me I was like oh I love that bleeding heart I wonder if I could grow out in Santa Fe was a little bit of background on this is I do love to garden you guys probably know that already. Although this was here when we bought the house. It is however changed over enough that I think I can start taking some credit for it. But um. Um, I yeah I’ve I’ve always really loved garden and in we had 2 different houses in Laramie where yeah, we really created some some knee gardening type stuff.

02:44.69
jeffekennedy
We put in ponds and waterfalls and my garden at 1 of them the first house with which had the great bleeding heart was actually on the town’s ah, garden tour one year which is not. Ah, fantastic accomplishment probably because um it was a small town but I was proud I was proud and and I put took flowers and plants to the garden show and won prizes so there you go my grandmother loved garden. And my mom says it skips a generation that’s her excuse. Although my mom loves to do potted plants and she’s amazing at design and I just splashed my coffee everywhere. That’s not good. It’s a Monday somebody has a kiss on the Mondays. So um, last fall I thought well oh I should this was the other bit of backstory is that when we moved to Santa Fe I thought oh it’s going to be so much easier to garden there because we always. Joked about gardening and laremie as being an exercise in building character because the environment is just really very harsh. It’s high altitude and it’s cold. A whole lot of the year we had a shorter growing season than Fairbanks Alaska that was great detail to share with visitors. Ah. 1 of my friends a poet had a ah a chapbook of poetry that was entitled hope in zone four because we were the zone 4 which was we were like teetering on the edge of zone 3 and maybe not. Not even that sometimes but that summed it up I thought that was a great title hope and zone for can’t remember her name right now you could probably look it up Alice oh well. So um. When we moved to Santa Fe I thought here is my chance I will be able to um garden without having to build so much character and it’s interesting because yes in some ways it’s easier. The growing seasons much longer. There’s the warmth of. Water becomes a big thing and it’s too hot for some things. But anyway last fall I thought huh I wonder if I could grow bleeding hearts here. So I got 3 bare root plants and I planted them at 3 different locations of the garden and yesterday and properly forgot about it. That’s 1 thing about gardening is.

05:32.78
jeffekennedy
Um, are there gardeners out there who like remember absolutely everything they plant. This is an interesting corollary to the fact that as a writer I consider myself to be a gardener. Um, and I totally don’t remember everything I plant until it grows it pops up. So yesterday as I was clinging things out I found a little bleeding heart and it was already starting to bloom it so I’ll put a photo off that because I know you’re dying to see and then I was like okay where did I plant the other ones and I found one other and right behind me and it’s also about to bloom and. The other one I think is hunted the crab Apple I’m gonna have to go look for it. Um, for a while I did have these markers like these copper markers that you could use a special pen to Mark things on um, it it didn’t last you know the garden doesn’t love. Having things really neatly laid out at least mine doesn’t um, one of my friends in Laramie who was also a writer and was also a gardener. We shared a great deal that way she said that she had read an interesting study on that people with. Really well ordered gardens tend to have have well-ordered gardens because they have more chaotic lives and people with really organized lives have more chaotic gardens um behold my chaotic garden. She always thought that was really funny that I was like I never know where I’ve planted things. And some things don’t come back I mean that’s the thing about Santa Fe um we things just don’t always over winter um rodents dryness sometimes it gets really cold but we had a lot of things over winter this year um so yeah. And the lilacs are starting to bloom. You probably can’t see it very well. But I’ll turn the video in case, you are on video. You could see that the lilacs are starting to pop so that’s cool. Um, so yeah I got that all finished by yesterday afternoon and. Showered off and was enjoying the grape arbor and got a call from my stepsister that my parents were in a car wreck. They’re both okay more or less okay totaled the car this kid going really really fast. Um. They were going through. They’d stopped his stop sign and we’re going through the intersection and my mom keeps calling the kid. We don’t know how old he is but he was going really fast and slammed into them spun them around stepdad had to stay the night in the hospital. Ah, he’s.

08:20.63
jeffekennedy
He’s generally okay, his blood pressure is high and my mom sent me pictures of the car and the air bags had gone off and on his so he was driving on his side. The blood is on the air bags. He got a big hemotoma on his arm and his leg and had to Lancet and. We’re having trouble stopping and bleeding and all of that so stay tuned. Um, my stepsster is funny because a couple of times that something like this has happened she calls me which she almost never calls me. We usually text she calls me and she says so if you talk to your mother. Lately yeah and the second time she’s asked me that and I know I laughed at her for it later because I and she said well I don’t know what you already know and I’m like yeah I know I understand why you’re asking it. It’s still funny because now I know if hope calls me and says have you talked to your mother that means that something has happened. So so that was our big thing. Um I talked to my mom this morning and she did get good sleep. So that’s something she’s was really shaken up and so we’ll just see how things go I asked her if she wants me to come to Tucson and she said not yet. So. Um, but if you’re listening to this mom I will a couple other things. This is just like back to our usual programming. Um I’ve started listening to poetry. This is a new thing. And it’s ah amazingly immensely gratifying and well refilling I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before so some of this came out of ah the rabbit hole of reading this biography of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning I think it’s funny because the transcript always makes browning lowercase I have to go in and fix it I don’t catch them all but they um obviously were poets and married to each other and it was fascinating. To read and there were some excerpts of their poetry but it mostly focused on them and talked about so like their works in context of what was going on in their lives at the time and their relationship and so forth. So after I finished the book which I think I finished on friday. Something like that I looked up a few of the poems because I wanted to see what? um you know, just get the context for it. Some of them I knew already some I did not I was of course familiar with how do I love thee, let me count the ways. Although I don’t know that I’d ever really.

11:09.61
jeffekennedy
Read the whole poem and paid attention to it. So as I was looking that up googling on my phone I got suggestions for hearing people read and so I’d I’d read the poem. Um, it’s it’s not called how do I love thee. But I can’t recall what it’s called right now but the actual title is and I listen to um, a famous actress Helen Mirren read it. And it was lovely hearing her reading it and then you know how it is when you start googling things I got the very helpful suggestion of did I want to hear my bestie Tom Hiddleston read me some poems and I thought that that one was going to be in it. But. It was um, it was not that was like a red herring on the keywords but still delightful and I listen to this 30 minute thing and I’ll I’ll try to remember to post it in the show notes because it’s well worth listening to It’s a collection of poems. Read by Tom Hiddleston who does a great job of reading. He’s got a lovely voice too and and it was some poems that I was familiar with from school and so forth and other ones that I was not and I was getting ready in and the morning you know like doing my skin care routine. And all of that. It’s a little breezy this morning you can kind of see my hairs flying around supposed to be Wendy today alas, which at least keeps the smoke off. We do have a fire up in the ymaz mountains which transcript will not get right up up near Los Alamos and Saturday are. Air was listed as unhealthy. So I just stayed in on Saturday but then fortunately wind shift to direction and it moved out so I was able to be out here on yesterday. So that was a positive. Um, what we’re saying oh the poems. So I was listening to these poems and just found it really stimulating and invigorating and I never thought of that as being a thing for refilling the well and when I was on http://poetry.org looking up some of these poems that pop ups and I reflexively close pop ups because I hate popups and I hate that we can’t stop them anymore but they did ask me if I wanted to receive a poem a day in the mail mail email and I you know like said no write as I was.

13:56.49
jeffekennedy
Reflexively closing their fucking pop up and now I kind of think maybe I do want that it would be interesting. 1 thing about poems is and you guys probably learned this in school too that they’re almost always better read aloud and I learned to read a poem. 3 times right? you read it through um just to get the poem in once and then you read it through much more carefully parsing it for sense and then a third time again faster and and one of those. And I’ll usually the last time read it out loud or is the first time even if I just get poems much better if I read them aloud so listening to other people read them is great and I one of the ones that Tom Hiddleston read was The Love Song of J Alfred Proofrock from which I recognized many many lines and I’m sure I had to have studied that at some point in school. But I’ve never paid that much attention to it and again this is something about you know what? we bring to to a work. Ah I never knew probably because I was. Ah, dense teenager when I first read that poem or studied it I think people may have done it for like poetry competition and speech and debate because I did do poetry one year I read um, an and Sexton Poem you do not do old black shoe. Now that I think I did it like way too dramatically with a blue star on my forehead anyway I’m sure people did j alfred proof of love song of but I never picked up on. All the reflections about growing older and how do you feel about love later in life. Um, and it was really enlightening and delightful and I recommend the listen my coffee got really cold. It must be chilly out here. Chilllier than I thought but we’re almost done. Um, so we watched another episode of winning time the LA lakers story last night and also another episode of Julia about Julia Child which I think I’ve also recommend enjoying both of those shows very very much in the episode last night there is this point at which they’re talking about how basketball is only a game and Jason Segel who plays Paul Westfield says you know why are we even doing this.

16:44.27
jeffekennedy
It’s only a game and the older man 1 of the team managers starts talking about when he was a young man and he says he graduated from high school on Monday married his sweetheart on Tuesday and shipped off to the navy on. Wednesday night so he has to be referring to world war two I would think and he says you know here they were a bunch of kids on this boat and the on like once a week they would stream a game baseball basketball football. Whatever and they would all. Watch this game and become totally involved in it and he said here they were in this life in death situation and it yes it was only a game but it was also this much needed distraction and and that really hit me because you know i. I’ve been disdainful of sports in the past and and a few of my friends have called me out on it and I think rightfully so because there there’s nothing wrong with being into sports any more than there’s anything wrong with being into romance. Ah it is. Not I don’t want to say it’s a distraction. It is something that allows us to look away a little bit from the very difficult things we’re dealing with and there’s. There’s just um I think there are people who want us to make want to make us feel that there’s something bad about that and there just isn’t apparently this woman and I don’t know who she was but she tweeted something a couple of weeks ago saying um, ah she. She even started saying I’m probably going to get in trouble with this for this which if you start your tweet saying that you should probably seriously rateconsider whether you really want to tweet it. But she said how can any of you be reading fiction at a time like this. We all need to be reading nonfiction so we can understand what’s going on. There are always these people in the world and apparently she later deleted the tweet after getting thoroughly shouted down but you know these people who. Think that you have to be totally focused on the brutal reality of the moment. Um, you, you don’t especially when you know we we now have the curse and blessing of being able to know all of these things that are going on around the world.

19:26.29
jeffekennedy
There isn’t an escape for from it unless you give yourself the escape and so my permission wand is inside but I shall wave it nonetheless in absentia ah, you do not have to watch the news. You do not have to read nonfiction to understand what’s going on. You can watch your sportsings games. You can read your escapist romances. You can listen to Tom Hitddleston read you poetry because all that you can control is right here right? Your your internal environment. So. You do what you need to do to create your own zone of happiness because then that gives you the the energy it refills that well and it enables you to go out there and then make changes in the world and on that note. I will talk to you all tomorrow take care bye bye.

First Cup of Coffee – April 26, 2022




Transcript
00:00.16
jeffekennedy
Good morning everyone this is Jeffe Kennedy author of fantasy romance and romantic fantasy I’m here with my first cup of coffee.

00:17.71
jeffekennedy
Superb today is Tuesday April Twenty Sixth I’m indoors again. It’s cold. It’s only like um well now it’s up to 45°f and there’s a cold wind blowing. So indoors after this do I keep saying this to feel like I keep saying it to David after this, it’s supposed to warm up. Although maybe we’re supposed to get a big thunderstorm tomorrow afternoon wouldn’t that be nice.

00:51.60
jeffekennedy
Um, so um, things are feel like they’re going well knock on wood knock on real wood. The book is progressing nicely I I don’t think I mentioned but I have. Upped my word count slightly to going for 2500 words a day and seeing how sustainable that is um, for those of you who have not been keeping avid track of everything that I do. Um, I finally had decided that what I’d been saying for so long that I write 3000 words a day five days a week was actually a lie and that I don’t write that much on a consistent basis and that maybe it was. Over time draining draining the creative well and leaving me feeling brain dead tired and sneezy hold on a moment. Didn’t want to sneeze in your ears. So. I’d looked back to see what my actual average was and it does work out to more like 2000 words a day five days a week 10000 words a week more or less and some of you gave me very interesting feedback saying that for you it varies it goes up and down. And I know some writers do it this way you know like you have your your big heavy weeks that do really well um, you know, maybe you get a 5000 word day and then the next a 1000 word day and some of you were are very happy with that which is great because what’s the mantra here. Figure out what your process is and own it. What works for you is most important for me I am always going for sustainable creativity. Um, whether or not that’s a good idea. Yeah i. Right now I’m I’m thinking I’m pausing and thinking um is that a good idea I decided I need a little bit more light so is there a reason that I think that’s good idea and I may have to go back and reevaluate that. But.

03:28.80
jeffekennedy
And now now I really am thinking about it I arrived at that a long time ago when I first started writing novels when it occurred to me that I could not work in creative bursts. Which had been my habit when I was writing short. Um, one thing I started to do early on in my writing career was I went to working for 10 hour at my day job. I was working for an environmental consulting firm and so I would work from um, like 7 to 6 taking an hour to lunch for lunch and then I took Fridays off. So that I could have a full day on one day a week in order to write. It’s funny I hadn’t thought about that in a long time when I talk about things I did early in my career I always talk about the writing every day I did that first where I got up very early in the morning. So that I could write for an hour every day at the same time every day just to build the writing habit and it worked for me I didn’t want to do that I resisted it but it did work to start running the water through the pipes. But then later, especially when I had the. Career type job for the environmental consulting firm. It. Um, its start and and I’d switch to writing novels that I realized I couldn’t oh maybe I hadn’t switched to writing novels yet that might have been part of it. Because I was writing short I was writing primarily essays and so what I would do is I would think about them all week and these were like 1500 word 3000 word essays and I would think about them all week and then write them in one big burst which. You know that that worked for me. However, when I started really getting into writing novels and trying to figure out how to write a novel. Um, yeah like that first one took me forever to write. It felt like and I think I was doing the Fridays working on that too. Um, I big as it’s hard to remember that’s funny. Yeah, what ended up happening later was once I started getting book contracts traditional publishing contracts.

06:09.50
jeffekennedy
And I had to write to deadline and I had to figure out how to write to deadline that I kind of had a big come to Jesus meeting with myself I feel like maybe I’m not supposed to say that it’s you know I come from a a lapsed catholic family. So when we talk about. Come to Jesus meeting. We say it with a lot of irony. But when I’ve said it lately to people they kind of give me a funny look and I wonder if it’s just like you know the christian stuff is just like so not funny anymore. But that’s what we mean in my family is the come to. Come to Jesus meeting is ah when you have the hard talk and you have to like repent of your sorry ways and do better Maybe it’s just like this weird. Lapsed catholic thing and people don’t understand what I mean when I say it anyway. So I had this meeting with myself and 1 thing that has always been true of me or at least I believe to be true which is in. And important distinction was I felt like I didn’t work very hard at stuff all through school. Everything people were always telling me how my teachers and so forth that I wasn’t really applying myself and they would be like. You know you’re so smart but you’re just coasting um high school college grad school. They also have the same things to me and even in my early work and and it didn’t matter that I could get you know a’s. You know ace the exam or you know do whatever. Um you know, get all my work done I could get more work done than anybody else. It was that I didn’t appear to be working hard enough. So now we’re delving into my psychology. This is like a ah weird thing that I’ve wrestled with most of my life where. People are always telling me that I don’t work hard enough now. Oddly enough now people tell me I work all the time. My mom even said something to me about that when we were there last weekend you work all the time that’s like which is it. But anyway so when I had to come to Jesus meeting. With myself I thought. Okay, if you really want to do this if you want to write novels and make a living as a writer then you have to figure out how to work incrementally over time. You’re not gonna be able to do this big bursts of creativity and so that’s where I came up with all of this sustainable creativity i.

08:55.65
jeffekennedy
I want to figure out a way to work very consistently and and to be fair, this has worked well for me over time and so I’m just tweaking it and I had gone down to 2000 words a day which felt very easy. It was great. And it was really nice when I was done writing that I still had mental bandwidth to deal with other stuff and I’ve actually been making inroads on my to do list instead of feeling like my to do list is billowing so I’m I’m feeling at a very happy place. Um. In order to get the storm princess and the Raven King out released on may thirty first I want to have a certain amount of time to go back and revise it make sure that I get everything right? the way I want it to be. And in order to give myself that revision cushion I I could get it written at 2000 words a day but there’s like no buffer. So I thought okay, well since this feels easy I’m gonna take it up a little bit to 2500 words a day five days a week and see how that feels so so far it feels okay so far it feels good. Um, you know the the proof the test is how it feels in the long term and I still have mixed feelings about. Taking time off between books because it definitely sets me back so far as the training as being in shape to produce words at a particular rate. Um, so so I don’t know I don’t know on that but I’m feeling very excited about these next. Book projects that I want to write so I kind of want to get this book written and move on with my life. But I’m also really liking the book. Um, it’s it’s different I say that on every book don’t I this one’s different than I expected. Um. But in some ways this one is it’s surprisingly romantic I think it’s the most romantic of this particular series. Ah I don’t I feel like I don’t always go in for the full swooning romance. But um. This particular book with Lena and Ryan they are well they got this this tortured love right? So anyway, that’s where I’m at with things. Um, so.

11:44.44
jeffekennedy
My sticky note from yesterday that I never got to ah, we’ve been watching and I mentioned this before the Hbo miniseries winning time story of the l a lakers and really liking it a whole bunch. Watch the most recent episode on Sunday night I’ve recommended it before I’m still recommending it Jason Segel, John C Riley but great people in it. Um, Sally Fields. I think Sally Fields really enjoyed in this particular role. Um, but it’s it’s interesting because I mentioned that over the weekend I you know met up with the writers and. Sat at dinner next to Melinda Snodgrass and we talked about shows we were watching and everything and I suggested this one and she said oh I don’t like sports stuff I don’t watch sports stuff and I thought well okay, fair enough and I’ve been known to say the same thing but. And I have been the one to scoff when people are like oh but sports were a metaphor. Um, you know like I feel that way about the war movies like men bonding and war movies just doesn’t do anything for me and I don’t care if it’s a metaphor for the human condition or whatever. Yeah. You know that’s the only way men can figure out how to be friends I’m sorry ah callous of me but there we are but in this case, there is this is such a well-written script. That there’s actually not all that much basketball in it and it’s about this trying to create a thing trying to make a thing happen which is a story that is always fascinating to me overcoming. Um just all kinds of terrible luck. Ah, kinds of stuff happens and trying to make this a winning team so that you know cause John C Reilley plays this character boss who has like pretty much staked his entire fortune and there’s gonna be all these repercussions. If if they can’t pull this out so there are all sorts of really interesting conversations about winning what it means to succeed and I really appreciate these takes on things.

14:30.50
jeffekennedy
And I wonder how much they are influenced by Ted Lasso which is another sports show. That’s not really about sports and I hope that I didn’t ask Melinda if she watched that but you know there are similar themes in both It’s about what exactly are you trying to accomplish Ted Lasso the coach played by Jason Sudeikis is very interesting in that he says things like um. Like he doesn’t think that it’s important whether or not they win or lose the game that what matters is how they play it which you hear a lot It’s a little bit of a cliche probably but he he actually believes it and has it come through. Ah. In the winning time in the lakers story. It’s critically important that they win that they’re going for winning this championship in order to um, not lose at all ah lose all the money and have the team. I don’t know fall apart. What have you.

15:46.91
jeffekennedy
And it’s um, it’s interesting because in both shows even though the stated goals and the stakes are very different. There’s still that. Underlying wrestling with what does it mean to succeed and maybe that’s the same thing that I’m talking about with with word count or what I talked about yesterday with trying to evaluate like are you doing good work. Are you growing? Are you stretching? Are you success Eatinging um you know success is such a fraught concept. There’s so many ways to measure it but a lot of it has to do with what are you? Why are you doing this thing in the first place and that’s something about being a writer that um. You know there’s easier ways to make money you have to be doing it for the right reasons. Um and those they’re your own right? reasons doing it because you love it. Ah, there are a couple of characters in winning time. Like the former coach Jerry West who’s like won’t leave. He resigned his coach and yet he’s still hanging out and and he’s like he can’t get away from the game because he loves the game. Um, you know and there’s. There’s a lot of focus on Magic Johnson who is a rookie um in his very first season and then and there are older players like Karim Abdul Jabbar are on the team and. Your magic is wrestling with growing up but also with you know, trying to play professionally and why is he doing this what what is he trying to accomplish and there is this great bit in this. Episode on Sunday where he meets Dr J who I don’t recall ever hearing before but ah, you know I don’t really follow sports and I was young for a lot of this but Dr J was playing for the um Philadelphia seventy sixers I believe not that it matters. But Magic Johnson goes there. You know they have a a game and they meet he meets Dr J at a party and he and his girlfriend Cookie are you know, meet him and and magic’s trying to be all cool and she’s like I know.

18:37.14
jeffekennedy
That guy you could see I saw his face on the posters on your bedroom wall because you know they were boyfriend girlfriend in college and stuff and and he’s like yeah yeah, it’s not a big deal. She’s like it is a big deal and it is about you know meeting your heroes is such a big deal because you do this. And and we do this as writers right? you you grow up reading the books by these people and you feel like you know them, you feel like they’re your friends in a way and in the show. Dr J is very friendly to magic Johnson he. You know, invites him to a party in his room him and cookie and and his wife is really sweet to cookie very welcoming. You know and sort of being admitted to the the inner circle which is big too right? when you’re. Coming up as a writer and you meet these established writers and they sort of admit you to the circle. That’s a level of success right? because you’re like oh I get to hang out with such so and this is amazing and and I often say one of the best perks of being a writer is that you get to make other writers be your friends. In the way that you only imagined they were when you are reading your their books and even when they then meet on the court. Ah there’s this sort of extraordinary moment where Dr J comes over and embraces. Magic Johnson and he calls him young blood and he’s like you ready to play this game in blood and and magic’s all happy and and I even commented to David I said it’s so nice to see you know like an established person in the field and established pro be welcoming to the the rookie end. And then Dr J proceeds to slaughter him on the court and it it feels like a betrayal because he magic thought he was his friend and I think it’s Jerry West comes and says to magic johnson later you know I’ve seen him do this to other people. You know this is. This is a thing that he does where he makes you think that he’s your friend and then he uses that against you. It was like oh oh burn. But the thing is is this happens in the writing world too I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced that particular thing but certainly. There have been plenty of times when I have met my literary heroes writers whose books I admired so much and then they turn out to be total assholes and you know when people say that I am and and this is my favorite thing when people describe me as being generous or.

21:24.63
jeffekennedy
Kind. Ah, it means so much to me because because that’s who I want to be I want to be generous and kind to the younger writers because there were a few I mean there were plenty of writers who were generous and kind to me and continue to be and I am grateful for them. But there were a few who were not and it’s so shocking and it’s something that we talk about a lot. It’s like should you meet your heroes because when you meet your heroes. There is always that possibility that you will be disappointed in them. And that they will be unkind to you because 1 thing about people and maybe about writers in particular I don’t know if it extends to basketball players or other types of creators. But that ego is fragile and. They are forever insecure and there are some who will look at the young blood and see that person coming for their career instead of being instead of realizing that they were the poster. On the bedroom wall the book on the shelf. The inspiration that this rookie wants to it just bask in being around them. They see them as the young predator coming up to take a bite out of him and it’s unfortunate. But. And something to brace for that. There will be some who will do this and it’s um, like I said shocking and and crushing on a deep level and I love that they showed it in this show sports metaphor or not on that note I am heading off to work on my own books. Hope you all have a great Tuesday and I will talk to you on Tuesday you all take care bye bye.