Lonen’s War: Sorcerous Moons – Book 1
// //The Pitfalls of Contests for Unpublished Manuscripts
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I used this cartoon in an online class I’m teaching on using the sexual journey as a tool for character transformation. It cracks me up every time, so I thought I’d share here.
The other day I finished judging some entries for an unpublished manuscript contest hosted by a writer’s organization I’m part of. I judge a number of contests each year, both for published books and these unpublished manuscripts. In fact, this year I’m coordinating one for my local RWA chapter, The Rebecca, so disclaimer there.
I passionately believe in hosting these contests, not only because they make excellent fundraisers for programming we couldn’t otherwise afford. They give an opportunity to aspiring writers to both gain feedback on their manuscripts and potentially get them in front of agents and editors who might otherwise be difficult to access. When I was shopping my first novel, I entered a lot of these contests, and it was great to have those venues.
That said… this recent experience gave me pause.
For this contest, authors submitted the first twenty pages of a manuscript. For The Rebecca, it’s the first 5,000 words, which works out to slightly less. At any rate, of the five entries I evaluated, two showed great promise, with beguiling premises and worlds, but both crammed WAY too much into those first twenty pages. To the point that I became overwhelmed.
Contest veterans will know this, but part of what’s happening here is that the writers know they’ll be evaluated according to a score sheet. Most contests ask if the internal and external conflict is apparent – for both the hero and heroine in romance – and if character motivations are clear. These are good things to evaluate and yet – very few books lay out ALL of the conflict and character motivations in the first twenty pages. Particularly if there are two or more point-of-view (POV) characters. In fact, they really shouldn’t do that because it mucks up the pacing of the novel.
Which is exactly what happened with these entries. They became to my eye – which is admittedly one reader’s opinion – almost kaleidoscopic in the rapidity of the scene shifts and changes of POV. I understood why the authors felt they needed to do this, but I ended up scoring down for categories like pacing and clarity of various characters.
What’s most concerning is – they didn’t read like the actual openings of novels. Since a huge piece of the contest involves sending the finalists to the final judges, agents and editors, to rank and hopefully want to see more of, possibly to acquire, I worry about this tendency. As a contest coordinator, I’m wondering what we can do about it.
The upshot is, for all of you trying out your manuscripts this way – please keep this in mind. The opening of your novel should read at the pace of an actual novel, not a construct created to satisfy all the points ticked off by a contest judge.
Anyone have thoughts on this, particularly how to address it?
SFWA Bulletin #207
//You can buy a print or ecopy of the SFWA Bulletin #207 with my article Romance Tropes for SFF Writers here
Here’s a summary of what’s in the Bulletin:
Editor’s Note – Neil Clarke
From the President – Cat Rambo
Zen in the Art of Short Fiction Titling – John Joseph Adams
Ask N&E: Finding an Assistant – Nancy Holder & Erin Underwood
Writing and the Day Job – Patrice Sarath
Bad Reviews vs. Biased Reviews – Sam J. Miller
Running a Writing Workshop, Part III – Cat Rambo
Diving into SCUBA: Storytelling Basics – Rachel Swirsky
Academic Research for SFF Writers – Alex Dally MacFarlane
Writing Professionals: Geologists – Rachael Acks
Romance Tropes for SFF Writers – Jeffe Kennedy
Market Report: Year’s Best Anthologies – Cynthia Ward
Jump the Shark or Cut to the Chase – It’s All Cool Beans to Me
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I got to go on a tour yesterday of Georgia O’Keeffe’s winter home and studio in Abiquiu. That’s been on my list for a while now and – wow! – it was totally worth it. I love studying how other artists live and it turns out that she and I share many aesthetics. No surprise as I love her work. Also no surprise that she’s more visually oriented than I am. My sister-in-law who’s a painter asked me if I got any “vibes” from the place. Yes. Yes, I did. Her powerful personality haunts that space and they’ve kept it exactly as the day she left. Remarkable experience.
This week on the SFF7 wonder blog, we’re discussing catering to younger generation – what words and ideas have we given up because younger readers won’t know them. This is my topic, so I’ll kick it off with a few stories for why this has been on my mind.
Clean Fire – Flash Fiction for James A. Moore
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We’re playing a game this week at the SFF Seven, writing flash fiction inspired by a book cover belonging to the writer who posts on the day after us.
This means I drew Jim.
Hee hee hee.
I love this cover! Oddly enough, it perfectly fits the world of the series I’m currently writing, Sorcerous Moons.
Lady Jane’s Salon
//Lady Jane’s Salon – August 1
Founded in February 2009 by romance authors Hope Tarr, Leanna Renee Hieber, Maya Rodale, and book blogger, Ron Hogan, Lady Jane’s Salon® is New York City’s first–and only–monthly romance fiction reading series. The Salon takes great pride in having hosted such luminaries of romance fiction as Eloisa James, Suzanne Brockmann, and Marjorie M. Liu while also encouraging debut and mid-list authors to “be our guest.” Past and present guest authors represent the full spectrum of the diverse and ever-evolving romance genre from traditional historical and contemporary romances to novels that cross over to science fiction and futuristic, fantasy and steampunk, inspirational and GLBT romance, to name but a few.
Lady Jane’s meets on the first Monday of the month, from 7-9 PM, at our host venue, Madame X in Soho (Top Tier). Admission is $5. Net proceeds from the Salon support our end-of-year donation to Win (formerly Women in Need).
Overcoming Two Towers Syndrome
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It’s been a great week for my duology with Grace Draven, FOR CROWN AND KINGDOM! I’m frankly astonished at the response and grateful to all of you enthusiastic readers. If you’d still like to pick up a copy, here are some linkys:
Amazon
Apple/iTunes
Kobo
Barnes & Noble
Now that the promo pony parade is wearing down for both this release and for THE PAGES OF THE MIND, which also released last week to the best rankings that series has seen so far (yay – thank you!!), I’m turning my attention back to book two in this new series I’m writing, The Sorcerous Moons. Book one, LONEN’S WAR, is done and I have an actual blurb now!
An Unquiet Heart
Alone in her tower, Princess Oria has spent too long studying her people’s barbarian enemies, the Destrye—and neglected the search for calm that will control her magic and release her to society. Her restlessness makes meditation hopeless and her fragility renders human companionship unbearable. Oria is near giving up. Then the Destrye attack, and her people’s lives depend on her handling of their prince…
A Fight Without Hope
When the cornered Destrye decided to strike back, Lonen never thought he’d live through the battle, let alone demand justice as a conqueror. And yet he must keep up his guard against the sorceress who speaks for the city. Oria’s people are devious, her claims of ignorance absurd. The frank honesty her eyes promise could be just one more layer of deception.
A Savage Bargain
Fighting for time and trust, Oria and Lonen have one final sacrifice to choose… before an even greater threat consumes them all.
Book two is called ORIA’S GAMBIT and it’s slow going so far. I’m working hard to keep from hitting Two Towers Syndrome, which is a common pitfall of second books in trilogies – and I’m over at Here Be Magic talking about what happens in that syndrome and how to overcome it.
Pros and Cons of Genre Boundaries
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I’m over at the SFF7 this morning, mulling this week’s topic: How does working within or outside the genre spectrum benefit or limit?
Oops. When a Deleted Scene Becomes a Novella
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This month’s theme at one of my group blogs is The Cutting Room floor, where everyone will share deleted scenes or talk about the revision process.
It’s apropos timing for me – and I thought I’d share here, too – because just this week I released a novella that’s essentially one big deleted scene.
*cough*
And, really – I almost never do this. I save pretty much everything I cut from manuscripts, which typically isn’t much. The revision process for me almost always consists of adding, not deleting. However, I’m usually of the opinion that I cut them for a reason and they don’t need to ever see the light of day.
This novella, The Crown of the Queen, is with Grace Draven’s The Undying King in our brand new duology FOR CROWN AND KINGDOM. And it’s obviously seeing the light of day in a big way.
See, what happened was that I wrote THE PAGES OF THE MIND, which is technically book one in The Uncharted Realms, but chronologically follows book three in The Twelve Kingdoms, THE TALON OF THE HAWK. The way my story brain works, and because I moved to a new point of view (POV), I picked up the tale with the heroine of the new book, Dafne, who’d been left behind in Annfwn for safety and wasn’t there for the climax of the ultimate events in TALON. This was important to me for a number of reasons. One is that it’s key to Dafne’s character – and her journey – that she’s always sidelined. She’s been forever on the fringes of everyone else’s adventures. So, she needed to start from that place. Another reason is that she discovers things in the Annfwn library that become relevant much later.
There was one huge problem with this – by the time I finished THE PAGES OF THE MIND, it was 1) too long, and 2) took way too long to get to the heart of the story. My editor asked me to decapitate the book (his actual words), which meant cutting about 17,000 words. I wasn’t surprised, as I’d worried the story would be too top-heavy, but I also felt that part of the story formed a critical bridge and needed to be told. My editor, frankly relieved that I didn’t have a fit over the “suggestion,” suggested that I self-publish the story as a novella.
Serendipitously enough, Grace Draven had asked me to do a duology with her around the same time, so woo hoo!! I revised and expanded Dafne’s interim story to 26K and called it THE CROWN OF THE QUEEN. Amusingly, Grace also expanded her story considerably and it’s as lovely as all of her work.
Two epic tales of Fantasy romance from Jeffe Kennedy and Grace Draven.
FOR CROWN AND KINGDOM
The Crown of the Queen: a novella of the Twelve Kingdoms
It’s been a lifetime since librarian Dafne Mailloux saw the coronation of the tyrant who destroyed her family. She did her part to pull him off the High Throne. But his daughter, the would-be Queen, and her sisters must still tame their conquest. If her victory is to last, Dafne must forge peace with the subtle, ruthless methods of a diplomat—and the worst memories of her life . . .
The Undying King
The stories are told in whispers, even after so long: of a man whose fair rule soured when he attained eternal youth. Imprisoned by a sorceress wife in a city out of time and place, he has passed into legend. Few believe in him, and fewer would set their hopes on his mercy. But Imogen has no choice. To break the curse that’s isolated her since birth, she’ll find the Undying King—and answer his secrets with her own…
Buy the Book
On Career-Ruining Books and Moments of Panic
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At long last, THE PAGES OF THE MIND is out in the world!!
That was a long stretch, huh?
Sometimes it works out that way. Because this book and the next, THE EDGE OF THE BLADE, were part of the second contract I signed with my publisher, this series got bumped out a full year from the previous novel, THE TALON OF THE HAWK.
I hope the long wait was worth it!
So far, it seems like yes. This book is selling gangbusters and you’ve all been *awesome* about posting those reviews thick and fast. I love that you all embrace Dafne’s story like family. It’s one of the best parts of writing these stories.
Plus I’m amused by the debates over whose story should come next. I’m contemplating what direction to take after Jepp & Kral’s story in THE EDGE OF THE BLADE, so now is a good time to chime in with your wishlist! I’m totally taking notes, as there’s several paths open in the overall arc to my mind.
Another cool aspect of having you all *finally* get to read this book, is hearing the reactions. I’m fascinated by who chooses which book, which hero and which heroine as their favorite. There’s so much variety! And each book is difficult in its own way to write. I don’t blog regularly about my process because it’s so up and down. One day I’ll be thrilled with how well it’s going and the next I’ll be convinced THIS is the book that will ruin my career. My close friends and critique partners (CPs) have gotten quite good at weathering my despair moments – which can last a week or two, quite frankly. They’ve learned to tell me, “Jeffe, you always do this. Just keep writing.”
With PAGES, I got all the way to the second volcano scene – if you’ve read, you know the one I mean – when I abruptly panicked, quite sure that the book was All Wrong and I needed to go back and… I dunno. Start from the beginning? Scrap it entirely?? I even briefly entertained that Kral was meant to be Dafne’s true love, until my editor gently but firmly informed me that I was Not Allowed To Do That.
And in retrospect… yeah.
So I made my CPs read it at that point and tell me if it sucked. Instead they all said, “how dare you stop there – keep going, dammit!”
Which really helped.
At any rate, this story was a big departure for me. The title of the next phase of this series, The Uncharted Realms (my editor’s idea), turned out to be strangely prescient. I’m not usually much into fated mates, but this story insisted. I worried to death that all the gesturing would be too much. I fretted that Nakoa was too impenetrable.
As usual, all that angsting turned out for the best and my CPs were right, as always. It seems I did okay by Dafne, which was hugely important to me. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet, here’s all the current buy links!
Thanks ever so much for your love and support.
~twirls~