The Cat Who Walks by Herself

I said to David last night that it’s very tempting for me just to tuck in here with him, in our house in the country where I know practically no one.

This was after he didn’t mind me jumping up to take a picture of the moon after he’d made love to me in a particularly sweet way, because I was feeling all distressed about a social conflict. (Sorry if that’s TMI — just keep going, I won’t do it again.)

Some philosophies promote the idea of becoming a hermit. The whole fantasy of living alone in a cave or on a mountain top. Or even in a cloister with a lovely vow of silence.

I come by this naturally, as an only child. I love to be by myself. It’s soothing. A friend once argued with me that I only like to be alone because I don’t have to be. Meaning that I have a partner where she didn’t. I could see her point, but I don’t think that’s the case.

In fact, David is a miracle of a person for me because being with him feels as good as being alone.

I think it’s a harmony thing. I have friends that draw energy from social interaction. They thrive on it and spiral up ever higher. For me, it’s a drain. I can do it for a while, but after a time I have to be alone to recharge.

But I think the hermit thing is a cop out.

The way I see it, we’re all here on this planet, crammed together, to learn something. And the something clearly involves interacting with each other. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so damn painful. And joyous, too.

It’s a funny world now. Though I live out in this quiet house and frequently see no one but David and the fur family all day — and yes, I love love love it — I talk online to many many people. Some friends, some acquaintances. It’s almost like being on campus again. Some people I just wave to. Some say something funny as we pass on the sidewalk. Others I sit down and have lunch with. It feels like a full social day.

And, as you probably suspect, I love that I can turn the connection off again, too.

Hey — at least I’m not doing the hermit thing!

4 Replies to “The Cat Who Walks by Herself”

  1. As well for me, any social interaction beyond waving to neighbors as I get the mail is draining. Even being with my kids. They have no off switch…really we need to bottle their energy and sell it. I'd be rich.

    When I feel sick or just down, all I want to curl up in bed and hide under the covers. Make the rest of the world go away and leave me alone. I too am an only child and find solace in being alone.

    But, I also miss my friends. I do want to see them and have girl talk. Two kids under 10 do not make good conversation.

  2. Oh, Jeffe, can I ever relate to this feeling.

    I'm an introvert in person. (Though Marie-Claude and my other WP's would laugh at that.) I honestly can't fathom being very social and it works well for me, because DH talks and socializes enough for both of us!

    Candi Wall

    But here in the cyber world, building networks, friendships, connections and doing all the promo, you have to be social. Funny, your take on some social connection being so different. Some close, some not.

    I too love the option of signing off if needed.

  3. I love how the writers pop out of the woodwork with this kind of post!

    Beth — I so hear you on kids. It was a wonderful day when my stepkids moved out on their own. They bring a whole other wavelength of energy into the house.

    And Candi — I agree. We need the support of our fellows. Aren't we lucky we can sit at our quiet little desks and do it from there??

  4. Heh – well, I think you already know how I feel about this subject, since we've discussed it before. But, yeah – we're very much alike in this respect. I want to be alone when I want to be alone, but only if I know I've got someone to hang around with if I want to.

    Very much the cat. 🙂

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