Now if only I was…
Actually, it’s not that bad. My plane doesn’t leave until about 12:30 tomorrow, so I don’t have to leave the house until 10 am. I’m mostly packed – including feline companion – and everything else is stacked up. We got back from Denver early enough yesterday for me to finish all the laundry and get organized on FFP’s big party at the convention – something that actually took hours and hours of work. And I finished my costume. I don’t like to do these things too far ahead of time…
People keep asking me if I’m excited to go. I should just lie and say “yes!” like they want me to. Truth is, I kind of dread going. Once I get there, I’m fine. I’ll see lots of friends and it will be a non-stop whirl of fun. I’ll have a great time; I know that. There’s just a big part of me who’d like to curl up in the suitcase, too, and stay in the den.
It’s funny having just come from my high school reunion. The turn-out was quite small and many people I would have liked to see didn’t show. But it was funny to hear some of the stories and have people ask me didn’t I remember that party? No, because I was almost never at the parties. I always thought it was because I wasn’t invited, but I think now it was more that I was usually so happy to have “my nose in a book,” as my mother would say, that I rarely got up the gumption to go socialize. When I did, I had fun.
Just like convention.
Odd, at this stage in life, to recognize this pattern in myself. It helped, oddly enough, to take the Meyers-Briggs personality test and discover that I test as an introvert. I’ve always thought of myself as a basically social person and I’m socially confident in general. But my little introvert heart is happier tucked in where it’s quiet and people don’t ask me questions.
(No, I won’t start mumbling to Precious. Much.)
Fortunately, fence-sitter me, I just barely score into the introvert category, so I can dig up some extrovertedness if necessary. The thought just sounds draining at the moment. Once I get there, the excitement will pump me up.
So – am I excited? No. But I will be.